Last night I was sitting on the couch enjoying a bite-sized Heath bar, one of my favorite candies. I had just popped the last half of the bar into my mouth and bit down when I realized this one was harder than your average piece of toffee. One more chew made me think that something had made it into the toffee that wasn't toffee. I spit out the offending chunks and examined them. They looked oddly like pieces of a tooth. I was revolted. What if some factory worker had lost a tooth and it got ground into the toffee? Yeah, you've already figured out where this is going, but I wasn't that fast. A probe with my tongue found that besides the usual toffee-filled crevasses of my teeth, there was an odd crater in my back left bottom molar.
My heart sank.
I had chipped a tooth. Nay, I had destroyed a tooth. A full quarter of the benighted chopper had disintegrated into my mouth. I was picking toffee-embedded chunks of tooth out of my mouth for the next few minutes. A Heath bar? Really? My teeth can't handle a little toffee?
Now for the bets part of all. I had just been to the dentist the day before. Not only that, but after x-rays, poking, and prodding, he had pronounced me free of cavities!
Oh well, back to the dentist I go.
So what do you think, ironic or just plain unfortunate? I'd ask Alanis, but I have a feeling I'd know what her answer would be.
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5 comments:
First you just randomly bumped into a chair while leaving Joe's the other day, which, as I pointed out, was a classic "Jon Move."
Now you're breaking your teeth on candy. It's not irony: you're turning into me!
Hmmm, that could be problematic. What would be the next phase of the transformation if that were true? Wait, this isn't going to turn into one of those bizarre trading places things is it? Cuz I'm kinda attached to my family.
And I already have exactly as many kids as I want to have.
There are so many ways in which your life could go wrong on your path to becoming me that it's difficult to predict what's next.
But if you start having lots of big ideas that you never follow up on, or find that you can barely even motivate yoursel to get dressed most days, you're definitely in trouble.
Ouch. Breaking a tooth sucks! As if we need more reasons to go to the dentist!
You said it! Thankfully, the only pain is from the jagged edge scraping the side of my tongue, so if I'm careful, I can avoid it. I'm hoping that there's no drilling involved so I can avoid the whole needle thing. My reaction to needles has improved over the years, but I'm still prone to becoming light-headed and pale after a shot.
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