Movie Review Bonanza!

I was going to write up my usual take on the movies I’ve seen this month, but I’ve posted a ton today already and things are about to pick up here at work – I mean, um, I would never blog at work, that would be an ineffective use of company time and inappropriate use of company property! Um, anyway, here’s my abbreviated take on the latest cinematic adventures I’ve viewed.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Fitting bookend to the trilogy. Nothing above and beyond the first two that makes this one really stand out. It was an entertaining piratical romp. Rush and Knightley make this one worth watching. Of course, Stacy would have you believe that Depp made it worth watching, but while his Sparrow is entertaining, he doesn't do it for me.
Three out of Four Jolly Rogers

Shrek the Third
Meyer’s Shrek is wearing on me. He was the least entertaining character. Luckily his supporting cast of fairytale friends hit the laughs often. Add in a dash of Python players in the form of Cleese and Idol, some delightful Julie Andrews, and a couple of rousing speeches to sway the villains one way or another, and you get a decent movie. I did like the second one better, though. For the record, nothing beats Snow White lilting to the woodland creatures in a voice straight out of the original Disney movie before launching into Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song.
Seven and a Half out of Fourteen Jellied Eyeballs

Surf’s Up
Surprisingly good! I expected more of the standard CGI schlock that has littered cinema screens in the wake of Pixar’s gems. However, this one succeeded where others have failed miserably. The voice cast really did it for me. I love Diedrich Bader’s work and having him reprise his character from Napoleon Dynamite was perfect. Speaking of Napoleon, Dynamite himself gave a great performance as the hapless stoner chicken. Jeff Bridges basically played the Dude in penguin form, so that was cool. James Woods does great voice over work. I loved Brian Posehn as the older brother. The LaBeouf played the lead character, but I find that lead character voices in the CGI movies all sound alike, so I didn’t realize until I looked him up.
Nine out of Ten Chum Buckets

These Boots Were Made for Cutting, and That’s Just What They Did

Stacy found a babysitter last night so we met up for a date at the movie theater. To my surprise, Stacy actually wanted to see Blades of Glory. I am surprised because she usually doesn’t want to see the same comedies I do, especially those starring Will Ferrell (i.e. one of the funniest men on the screen today). She answered me in two words, Jon Heder. Ahh, I see. I didn’t really care. I like Heder too and any reason for Stacy to actually want to see the same movie as me is the only excuse I need to watch it.

Holy crap was it funny. I expect spotty performances from Will Ferrell since he is not always spot on with the humor. How can any SNL alumni be? However, he was 100% in this one. Jon Heder did not disappoint either. It was a little weird seeing their coach played by Hayden Fox, I mean Craig T. Nelson, but it was good seeing him up there. Will Arnett of lamented Arrested Development fame and Amy Poehler of “I’m getting a bone thrown at me because Ferrell and I were on SNL together” were pretty good as the rival ice skaters, creepy as brother and sister pair skaters, though. Creepy in a funny way. Jenna Fischer, taking a break as mousy Pam on The Office sizzled on the screen as an even more emotionally screwed character than Pam who nevertheless makes a hot appearance in lingerie at one point (It tops her extremely awkward kissing scene with Heder, but only just.)

Most of the main stars’ performances on the ice were obviously enhanced digitally, but since I didn’t come to the show to watch them skate, I really didn’t care. Although I kinda wish Ferrell’s scene in Grublets on Ice was digitally enhanced to minimize the onscreen chunks, the less said about that the better.

In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s the run down. Chazz Michael Michaels (Farrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) are competitors in the world of men’s figure skating. They tie for the gold at the fake Olympics (I assume the producers didn’t care to involve the red tape that comes with having the Olympics in your movie) and get into a fight during the medal ceremony. They are subsequently stripped of their medals (after lighting the mascot on fire, eep!) and banned from their division forever. Naturally, both skaters hit rock bottom in no time. We visit them in their pitifulness three and a half years later, just six months before the next fake Olympics, and find that there is a loophole that will allow them to skate again. They’re not banned from pairs figure skating. Through a chance circumstance, (as if there’s any sort of thing in these movies) they end up having no resort but to pair with each other.

Hilarity ensues.

Actually, hilarity ensued quite a bit before that point, but, meh. Point is, this movie was hilarious. Go see it, or, if you don’t go to movies, wait for the DVD and buy it, or, if you don’t buy DVDs, rent it, or, if you’re a cheap bastard, wait for it to come out on cable, or, if you don’t have cable, GO SEE IT! It’s worth it if you like to laugh, and if you don’t, then lighten up, sourpuss.

I give this movie four out of four triple axels on a scale that I just made up that means nothing.