Kung Fu Panda OR How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Ska-doosh

Stacy and I took the girls to see Kung Fu Panda with a friend of ours and her two boys. I wasn't expecting much from this movie. It looked like another in a long line of computer animated movies featuring big-name voice talent.

Well, it was that, but it exceeded my expectations. The relative unknown directing team of Mark Osborne and John Stevenson delivered a surprising amount of laughs and a few touching scenes among the whirlwind martial arts action in what could have been a standard reluctant hero movie. Naturally, they had help in the form of the aforementioned big-name voice talent

Leading the pack is Jack Black as the title panda, Po. Working with his father in the family noodle shop, Po dreams of something bigger, pun intended. His father, played by my favorite ethnic actor, James Hong, is a crane or some kind of bird. In a delightful twist, we never find out how he came to raise a panda as a son, not even during the big heart-felt father-son talk that usually couches the reveal. Thanks to a freak set of circumstances, mostly of his own hapless doing, Po is chosen by Kung Fu Master Oogway (Randall Duk Kim, another great ethnic actor) as the dragon warrior, destined to defeat the evil and nigh-unbeatable Tai Lung (Ian McShane).

This pisses off the Furious Five and their master, Oogway's student, Shifu, to no end. Shifu, played to my surprise once the credits were rolling, by Dustin Hoffman, bears the terrible burden of being the one that taught Tai Lung before he went bad. Obi Wan much? His Quintessential Quintet is led by Master Tigress, aka Angelina Jolie, didn't notice. Followed by Master Crane, or David Cross, didn't register. Next is Master Viper, Lucy Liu, really? Then we have Master Mantis, voiced by Seth Rogen, don't watch enough Appatow to know him. Finally we have Master Monkey, our beloved Jackie Chan, so that's why his accent was so strong! Seriously, either I was having an off night or this voice talent was just too vanilla. I'm leaning towards the former. I was juggling no less than three kids in and out of my lap during the course of the movie, so I may have been somewhat distracted. Let's just say my exceptional voice-placing talent took a break.

Ooo! Ooo! What? No, I'm not doing my Master Monkey impression. I don't believe he once uttered a single Ook through the whole movie. I just remembered one of the voice actors that I actually recognized, smartass. Michael Clark Duncan was ununrecognizable as Tai Lung's over confident warden. He shared his scenes with Dan Fogler, who I loved in Balls of Fury, but didn't even recognize here.

I'm sure that, armed with this knowledge, I would be able to recognize each and every one of these fine voice talents if I were to watch the movie again. That ain't happenin' 'til the DVD comes out, though.

Shifu's Fantabulous Five give our hero, Po, the harsh treatment that is his due for having the temerity to be nearly randomly chosen by their master's master. Their treatment of Po pales in comparison to Shifu's treatment of him, though. I thought Kung Fu masters were supposed to be wise? This one doesn't wise up until the metaphorical head slap by his master is delivered right before Oogway, ah, but that would be telling.

Like all great reluctant hero movies, we get a training montage midway through that makes a veritable master of Kung Fu out of Po. I'm not really bothered by this or the events leading up to it. It's all familiar, ingrained in the sub-genre wherein this movie lives. I suppose accepting the format allowed me to appreciate the nuances and humor used throughout. This movie doesn't tread any new ground, but then, who wants to be challenged by a kid flick?

The final reveal and climactic battles were enjoyable in their predictable ways. I think my favorite part was when Po finally realizes that he can stand up to the super-powerful Tai Lung, all by his lonesome. It's the ensuing battle and Po's tactics for winning that are so entertaining. What? Upset that I didn't post a spoiler alert? You obviously haven't been reading this, then. Po is the reluctant hero in a kids movie. You thought that maybe the outcome or how we got to it was in doubt? Then you need to google yourself a "hero's journey archetype" and remember all those stories you already know.

The animation was top notch. This movie was produced very much in the Madagascar style. That's not to say the movie was like a southeastern African island-nation that is no doubt beautiful and cinematic in its own right. No, the style reminded me a lot of the 2005 Dreamworks movie named after the island. The cartoony style lends itself well to the CGI medium. Rather than striving to look like something it's can't be, realistic, the CGI seems to take a back seat to some good cartooning.

Black and company deliver on the laughs, tug a couple of heartstrings (slightly, only slightly) and give us some good fast-paced action. At least, I'm assuming on the last one, since I missed the penultimate battle between Shifu and Tai Lung since Scarlett chose that opportunity to get out of her seat and hold a loud conversation with anyone within ear shot. I love that little girl!

I give Kung Fu Panda five out of eight noodle bowls on a scale I just made up that doesn't mean anything. For a good time with the kids, there's nothing better in the theaters right now.

Tomorrow, The Incredible Hulk!

An Enchanted Evening with Mr. Magorium

On occasion, I like to do something fun with one of my kids one-on-one. I feel that extra attention is something they don't get enough now that there are three of them. As inclusive as we try to be, one of them is sometimes left with the short end of the stick during family activities. It's been a while since I've taken either Vicki, my 6 year old, or Zoe, my 3 year old, anywhere.

Thus, this last Friday became Daddy-Daughter Date Day. I gave the girls their choice of movies playing at the local theater. The free movie ticket coupons we have for that theater do a great job at narrowing options. Zoe chose to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium and Vicki chose Enchanted. I can't say either were on the top of my list, but that's not what this was about.

Zoe and I went out first. She was thrilled. She was especially excited to pick out her own candy and had a great time snacking on white cheddar popcorn while we waited for our auditorium to let out and be cleaned. Before long, we were seated comfortably near the middle of the theater with much less of the holiday weekend crowd one might expect. That's what happens when you chose an out-of-the-way, old, and possibly failing theater to attend, but we like it that way.

Zoe loved the movie. She immediately asked as we walked to the car if we could buy it. I still haven't quite convinced her that there is a period of time between a movie showing in the theaters and when it comes out on DVD.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium was a cute and sweet movie. It wasn't great, but entertaining enough. The plot meanders like a quite a bit, with very little background given to the characters. That was okay by them, though, since the time not spent showcasing the zany toy store was spent in characterization.

Dustin Hoffman's Mr. Magorium was naturally well-played. I have the feeling that if they made a prequel featuring some of the adventures he hints at here and there, the producers would have a better movie on their hands. That was probably the most frustrating thing about his character, it would have been nice to know more about where he'd come from. It can be argued, probably successfully, that not knowing adds to his mystery and magic, but since that argument would have to take place between me and myself, I'm just not going to do it. That's a road best left untraveled, thenkyewverrymuch.

Natalie Portman's Molly Mahoney, the store manager and Wonder Emporium bequeathee, was almost, but not quite endearing. There was something about her performance that just didn't sell the character. I wanted to believe that she was a quirky musical genius, but the nervous tick her hands playing a phantom piano of their own accord was actually a little creepy if anything. Justin Bateman's Henry Weston, the accountant Magorium hires to straighten his books before making his exit, was sadly reminiscent of Michael Bluth from Arrested Development. Bateman does a great straight man. The token "cute" kid, Zach Mills, tries really hard, but only manages to reach awkward level on his attempt at being lovable.

As I said, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium was cute. It even made me tear up when Mr. Magorium made his exit, but it could have been so much more. I give this movie twenty-five out of fifty-six escapee bouncy balls on a scale I just made up that doesn't mean anything.

Next up was Enchanted with Vicki. I made a few theater employees do double-takes as I purchased two more tickets for a different movie with a different kid mere minutes after I left with Zoe. I love messing with people's heads. For her part, Vicki was very excited, especially since she and I got to play a video game while waiting for the movie to start. We even came in first place on the racing game we tried out. Gotta start 'em out young, I always say. As with Zoe and Magorium, Vicki loved Enchanted. Despite myself, I wound up enjoying it more than I thought I would.

For those of you impervious to Disney's in-your-face advertising campaigns, Enchanted is about a fairy tale girl (complete with talking animal entourage) banished to the real world by a jealous witch queen intent on preventing marriage between her son, the prince and said girl.

What follows is a completely predictable fish-out-of-water tale as Jaded New York Man (Patrick Dempsey) takes care of Fairy Tale Girl (Amy Adams), Fairy Tale Prince (James Marsden) searches New York for his One True Love™ with the help hindrance of Hapless Henchman (Timothy Spall) and Now-Speechless Chipmunk, and Witch Queen (Susan Sarandon) grows increasingly impatient at the efforts. Can anyone guess the ending? If you guessed that the queen, magically transformed into a dragon, swallows Jaded New York Man, whisks Fairy Tale Prince back to the magic kingdom and rules happily ever after, then you've never seen a Disney movie.

For as predictable as the movie was, there were a surprising amount of amusing bits. My favorite was definitely the Now-Speechless Chipmunk miming the Hapless Henchman's treachery to the Fairy Tale Prince only to have the prince of magical kingdom of Duh conclude that the furry woodland creature was trying to tell him how handsome he was when he slept. Marsden played the clueless prince to the hilt and was infinitely more entertaining than he has been in the X-Men movies. Adams was equally entertaining as the Fairy Tale Girl. Heck, all of the main characters played their roles brilliantly. Perhaps the predictability and stereotypical nature of the characters made it easier for them to hit their marks. I don't know, but it brought the enjoyment level up quite a bit from what I was expecting as I entered the theater.

I give Enchanted fifteen out of twenty toilet-scrubbing New York City rats on a scale I just made up that doesn't mean anything.