Friday, February 02, 2007

I Am 99% Sure That Is Not The Real Benjamin Franklin

If you missed The Office yesterday, don’t read this post, if you didn’t, then you already know that it was, in fact, not Benjamin Franklin.

Last Night’s episode, Ben Franklin, was more comedic gold from the cast and creators of my favorite comedy. Let’s break it down, medium style.

Phyllis’ upcoming nuptials prompt an all-girl shower in the office while the guys get a GAI (Guy’s Afternoon In, totally not gay) in the warehouse. That’s an all male shower, of course, which is totally not gay.

I was going to give a blow-by-blow of the episode, but chances are you’ve seen it or don’t care, so I’ll skip that. I’m just going to give some highlights of my favorite lines, courtesy of the fine people at

Michael: I am instituting primae noctis.
Jim: Primae noctis, I believe from the movie, Braveheart, and confirmed on Wikipedia, is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So …
Michael: I’m sorry. I had a very different understanding as to what primae noctis meant.

Michael: Okay, coed naked strippers in this office. For realsies.
Angela: Under no circumstance should a man strip off his clothes in this office.
Meredith: Shut up, Angela!

Michael: Guys! Beef. It’s what’s for dinner. Who wants some man meat?
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then my man meat he shall have.

Ben Franklin: You know, I invented electricity.
Pam: I know.
Ben Franklin: Well, I’m sensing a little electricity right here.
Pam: Didn’t Ben Franklin have syphilis?

Michael: Stripper? Could I ask you a question? About women? Um … should I tell my girlfriend that you danced up on me?
Elizabeth: Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone.
Michael: Wow. Thank you.

Michael: So you know who turned out to be kind of a creep? Ben Franklin. And Elizabeth the stripper? Gave me great advice. Which rhymed. Really makes you wonder how Ben Franklin can become president but someone like Elizabeth can’t.

Dwight: I don’t care what Jim says. That is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I Should Apply for a Job

I've been away too long. To apologize, I've decided to become a total shill for Axe. Technically, this is a Lynx commercial, but it's the same stuff and this one is longer. For those of you that do not appreciate the female form in motion whilst wearing a bikini, I got nuthin.