Sunday, February 25, 2007

Stormwatch 2007

Manassas, Virginia (SP) -- The Northern Virginia area is gripped in what weather experts are calling the storm of the century. Meteorologists are predicting massive amounts of snow, accumulating as much as 1” to 2” before the colossal storm continues eastward. Local weather authorities are urging city and county officials to declare an official state of emergency, restricting all road traffic to disaster recovery vehicles only.

“It’s like the sky opened up and took a great big dump on us,” said Manassas resident, P. Hicky after expelling a cheek full of chewing tobacco.

These trees are weighed down by as much as 2 lbs of snow

Another Manassas resident, fundamentalist J. Prescott, upset that her church services were cancelled, said, “I think this is a sign of the second coming. Just so you know, I’m ready for the rapture. Take me, Jesus!”

“It is my professional opinion that this storm will be the most severe weather ever recorded. The meteorological society will be studying the effects of this storm for years,” said Dr. Joseph Transyger, Meteorologist Emeritus at News Channel 8’s You Predict The Weather Day program.