“It’s like the sky opened up and took a great big dump on us,” said Manassas resident, P. Hicky after expelling a cheek full of chewing tobacco.
These trees are weighed down by as much as 2 lbs of snow
Another Manassas resident, fundamentalist J. Prescott, upset that her church services were cancelled, said, “I think this is a sign of the second coming. Just so you know, I’m ready for the rapture. Take me, Jesus!”
“It is my professional opinion that this storm will be the most severe weather ever recorded. The meteorological society will be studying the effects of this storm for years,” said Dr. Joseph Transyger, Meteorologist Emeritus at News Channel 8’s You Predict The Weather Day program.