Okay, lame pun aside, he
knew her pretty well. Stacy and I got a long-deserved break from the kids this week when we went to see
Ghost Rider with Jon on Monday. We went armed with the knowledge that two good friends of ours
did not like the movie. I
quote, “
The Punisher was
better.” While I haven’t seen
The Punisher (
rated-R), I had heard plenty about it and knew that it fell somewhere between
Daredevil and
Fantastic Four among the latest crop of comic-inspired movies. I found it hard to believe that
Ghost Rider could be
that bad, considering how
kick@## the previews looked. Then again, you can’t judge a book by its cover. You also can’t judge a book by what other people
say about it. That’s why I don’t listen to movie critics. I lend a bit more weight to what friends say, but I usually reserve judgment until I have seen the movie.
In this case, I’m
glad I did.
Ghost Rider was much better than it
could have been and
nowhere as bad as some of the
stinkers that Marvel has cranked out lately. It wasn’t even close to
Spider - Man or
X - Men levels of
radness, but it rocked in its own way.
Let’s start with the visuals.
No? You want to know about the story, you say. You want to know how compelling the characters were, you plead. Well
too bad, non-existent, disembodied voice, this is
my review.
The visuals were spot on. Never has a
demon-possessed, flaming-skulled bounty hunter for the devil, with a flaming demonic bike of awesomeness and a death-dealing fiery chain of pain been translated so well between mediums. The initial transformation took a while to get to, but we were well served with some spectacular bike stunts in the meantime. The first time Ghost Rider made his appearance, you got a real sense of how painful such a transition might be as his flesh literally
burns from his bones, leaving a
grinning skull wreathed with
hellfire behind. It wasn’t long after that his bike makes its own transformation with skeletal claws slowly reaching up to caress the gas tank, exhaust pipes elongating to bone-shaped tubes, down tubes morphing into solid chains, and a skeletal ribcage forming underneath it all.
Very nice.
Ghost Rider’s origin was kept intact, something I feared would not happen. The previews made it seem like
Johnny Blaze sold his soul to save the life of a
girl, which would have been
completely wrong. Thankfully, that
wasn’t so.
The players ran the gamut from over-the-top comic book acting to genuine talent. This movie reminded me why I like
Nick Cage. His Johnny Blaze had an
excellent sense of timing and reaction. Cage lends a comedic quality to his characters that is understated yet supplies just the right amount of humor to offset the dark topic of the movie.
Eva Mendes, who I maintain is near the bottom of the
hot Latina starlet list (I would sooner take
Salma Hayek,
Vanessa Marcil, or
Eva Longoria over her, though she is still miles above
Horseface herself,
Penelope Cruz,) played Roxanne Simpson, a
hot newscaster with a
smoking past with Blaze. Okay, I
gotta stop with the
fire references, this is too much even for me. She was all right, but I’m not much of a fan of hers anyway, so I paid more attention to her revealing outfits than her performance (
boobtastic).
Sam Elliott, who was his usual
crusty self, led the supporting cast. I wouldn’t have him any other way. His Caretaker was a joy to watch.
Peter Fonda, looking extremely
aged, played Mephistopheles
né Mephisto. I expected his character to be
over the top, but he was delightfully
subdued, if a bit
creepy uncle. I appreciate seeing
Donal Logue in anything since his turn as a
vampire lackey in Marvel’s first modern foray into comic book movies,
Blade.
Sadly, the rest of the supporting cast
sucked donkey balls.
Wes Bentley’s campy Blackheart led actors that were even worse in the villains’ camp. Besides
Brett Cullen's Barton Blaze, the rest are completely forgettable.
If this movie lacks for
anything, it is the
plot, and
boy does it lack. Mephistopheles
sics Ghost Rider on Blackheart, who is searching for a contract that contains the power of
1000 souls. The previous ghost rider
hid the scroll from Mephistopheles, fearing the power would make him
unstoppable. Blackheart wants it to
rule Hell and Earth with it. Now,
why would a
paltry 1000 evil souls from some abandoned town in the Southwest mean
so much to the ruler of Hell? I would imagine that he gets more than that in a
slow year. Not to mention, the
state of the souls seems like it would
devalue the deal. Wouldn’t
1000 innocent souls mean much more to Mephistopheles? Why can’t the
ruler of Hell manage
four demons, one of whom is
his own son? Why
can Ghost Rider handle them when he
can’t? There were
plot holes aplenty as the movie progressed. For instance, the legend says there is one ghost rider
every generation, but the last ghost rider was from
150 years ago.
Abuh? Wouldn’t it be nice if generations were spread out that far? I could dig living
150+ years.
So yes, the
plot stunk, but
oddly enough, that didn’t detract much from the movie. This flick did not pretend to be anything more than it was; a disposable bit of eye candy to while away a couple of hours. It didn’t aspire to be
Oscar-worthy. It didn’t have its sights set on
critical acclaim. It delivered itself as a
guilty pleasure that I would certainly watch again, if for nothing more than seeing Ghost Rider
blaze down the
side of a building to land in the
midst of a
hornet’s nest of angry cops.
I give
Ghost Rider four out of five
flaming skulls on the
meaningless scale that I just made up.
