Indian Jones and the Geriatric Kingdom of the Arthritic Skull

Note: I had this mostly written up this weekend, but circumstances arose that prevented me from posting it until now. Sorry for the tardiness!

Stacy and I went to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with a bunch of friends this weekend. What can I say but that it was an Indiana Jones movie, through and through?

Indiana Jones movies definitely follow a formula. First, we get to see Indy in his element. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, he is retrieving a golden idol from an ancient temple in the Peruvian jungle; a rousing John Williams score and adventure ensue. In Temple of Doom, he is exchanging the ancient remains of Nurhaci with some Shanghai gangsters; a rousing John Williams score and adventure ensue. In Last Crusade, he is a young boy and retrieving the Cross of Coronado from grave robbers; a rousing John Williams score and adventure ensue.

Steve Spielberg always treats us to character development during the whirlwind adventure in act I. We get to look into a small window into Indiana’s character. One of my favorite things about the first acts in the Indy movies is that he is revealed as wholly human: fallible and mortal. Indiana isn’t super human, things don’t always go his way, he doesn’t always make the right decision. I think this element of the Indiana character helps us normal people identify with him.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn’t part from the norm. The first act starts strong and doesn’t finish until Indiana Jones survives a nuclear bomb. Oops, spoiler alert. I don’t feel too bad, it’s a tiny spoiler and I guarantee I didn’t ruin it for you. I could be wrong, but I think Kingdom features the longest first act of the four movies in the franchise. I have no complaint; the first act is the most fun-loving of the three. You don’t yet have a sense of the seriousness of the opposition or what is at stake in the first act. It’s just good clean adventure. We get more insight into Indy, which is very important considering how much water has flowed under his bridge since last we saw him.

The second act of the Indiana Jones movies usually involves a bit of exposition. This usually happens in Indy’s day job at Marshall College. (The events of the first act in Temple of Doom force Indy to have act II in an Indian village and temple, though.) We get to see how every student wants a piece of Indy, sometimes in a good way, sometimes, not so good. Spielberg reveals the impetus of act III here, too.

Act III consists of the culmination of the previous two acts along with a healthy dose of the supernatural. No matter how faux-realistic the first two acts are, the last one always pushes at the borders of reality, first with the decidedly macabre opening of the Ark of the Covenant, then with the Thugee priest and sacred stone’s otherworldly powers, and rounding out the original trilogy with the divine power of the Holy Grail.

Kingdom’s act III, as its previous two acts, follows suit more so. It’s as if Spielberg distilled down the essence of Indiana Jones plots and presented them to us in a concentrated form. The first act is longer and more adventurous than its predecessors, the second act, while expository, includes more than a healthy amount of adventure as well, and the final act stretches the boundaries between reality and fantasy even further (in my opinion) than the previous three movies.

As for the acting, we have an interesting mix in this one. First and foremost is Harrison Ford. Can he do it? Can he pull off the physically demanding role of Indiana Jones so long, a full nineteen years, after his last outing as Indy? Yes. Yes he can. Ford is Indiana Jones, there is no doubt of it as soon as he steps out of the trunk of the car in the opening scene and dusts off his signature fedora. Time has obviously passed for him, but Spielberg handles that easily by adding enticing hints into Indy’s life since Last Crusade and the fact that the movie is set in the fifties. Also, dig Scrub's Janitor as an uptight FBI agent!

Karen Allen reprises her role as Marion Ravenwood, Indy’s love interest from his youth and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Marion has always been my favorite foil for Indy. She’s tough, no nonsense, and witty. She knows how to handle herself and Indiana, but she still has a soft spot for him. Those feelings haven’t been lost, just tempered with the years between Raiders and Kingdom. Their relationship adds for some excellent dynamics in act III.

That does it for recurring roles. My favorite newcomer by far is Mutt Williams, played by the always entertaining Shia “The LaBeouf” LaBeouf. The LaBeouf shines as an insecure greaser kid, intent on rescuing his mother and childhood mentor, Professor “Ox” Oxley (John Hurt). He masks his insecurities with a tough-as-nails attitude and a fixation with his switchblade.

John Hurt is one of my favorite elderly British actors. I loved him as Professor Broom on Hellboy. Professor Ox is a bit more eccentric, but still enjoyable to watch.

Somewhat enjoyable, but also possessing that wince-inducing quality of a British actor portraying a Russian soldier, is Cate Blanchett as a special officer of the Russian intelligence (I think,) Irina Spalko. She’s chilling and enigmatic, but lacks the sinister quality of Indy’s previous arch-villains.

Ray "I'll Kill Your Monstah!" Winstone, who I totally did not recognize, played Indy’s old as-yet-unmentioned friend George ‘Mac’ McHale. Where we have The LaBeouf playing the young innocent sidekick almost a la Jonathan Ke Quan as Short Round in Temple, Mac plays the world-wise, self-serving sidekick. No Sallah, he. His performance is quite good. You really don’t know where he stands until the end. Speaking of Sallah, I really missed seeing John Rhys-Davies as my favorite Egyptian and Denholm Elliot as my favorite bungling dean of students, Marcus Brody.

Igor Jijikine is only notable as Dovchenko because he fills the ever-important role of the burly Eastern European that just won’t fall down. This character is vital to the Indiana Jones series. Without him, we wouldn’t have the immensely satisfying SMACK of fist on flesh that sounds so unique in the Indy series.

All of these factors combine to make a thoroughly enjoyable installment in the Indiana Jones Franchise. While the movie may not appeal to those that aren’t fans of the films, it will hit all the triggers that Indy enthusiasts enjoy. Being a fan of the Indy movies, Harrison Ford, Spielberg, and many of the other actors in the movie, I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

I give Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull twelve out of thirteen crystal skulls on a scale I just made up that might just mean something.

I'm Going to Kill Your Monstah!

I went to see Beowulf (in Digital 3D, no less) last night with Jon and Casey. I had been looking forward to this movie ever since hearing about it on Neil Gaiman's blog. Well, there was a short, bitter time after seeing the first trailer and thinking that there was no way the movie would be PG-13. It was, and it didn't disappoint. Although it would have been cool to see it in IMAX 3D, I was happy with the normal theater. That was especially true after seeing the preponderance of nekkid male backside. I mean, who needs to see that three stories high? Not this guy! Grendel's mom kinda made up for it later, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The story should be familiar to anyone that has read about Beowulf, or seen one of the horrible adaptations such as the one featuring Christopher Lambert. Beowulf arrives in Hrothgar's kingdom to slay the vicious troll Grendel for fame and glory. Naturally, Beowulf forgets that you never have to fear the troll as much as the troll's mother.

Here we are treated to a delightful departure from the traditional mythology. I won't spoil it, but I will say that it does a delightful job in tying the two parts of Beowulf's story together: his initial adventures in Hrothgar's kingdom and his epic battle with a dragon in his later years.

Zemeckis has improved on the technology he used to make Tom Hanks look like a semi-realistic cgi character in The Polar Express. The characters in Beowulf are fantastically rendered. Some true to life, others modified for effect or characterization (and no, even though Jon waited for it, at no time did Crispin Glover's Grendel lean over to the queen and say, "You are my density!") Gaiman and Roger Avary outdid themselves with the screenplay. Naturally, I can't comment on how far Zemeckis' direction departs from their source material, but I happen to know that Gaiman, if not Avary, was present for some of the production and was very gratified by the handling of his work. I generally see that sort of cooperation between screenwriters and director as a good sign.

I can think of no serious criticism for the acting cast. Glover was a little hard to understand during his speaking scenes, but considering the state of Grendel's face, it's surprising I understood anything that came out of that misshapen mouth. I thought of keeping a running tally of Ray Winstone's Beowulf's proclamations of, "I'm going to kill your monstah!" after the third or fourth repetition, but I lost count. Funny thing about Winstone? He's credited by imdb as "Drunken Thane" in the Beowulf entry. Who played Beowulf? According to imdb, he doesn't make an appearance in this, the movie Beowulf.

Anthony Hopkin's conflicted and haunted Hrothgar was predictably good. If Hopkin's can't do conflicted and haunted, then who can? Malkovich's Unferth was as Malkovich as it gets. He not only imparted his trademark voice to the role, but his mannerisms were captured perfectly, especially during his drunken confrontation with Beowulf. Robin Wright-Penn looked better CGIed into Queen Wealthow than she has in years. She also got to showcase her tragic cold side opposite Hrothgar and Beowulf.

Then there's Angelina Jolie. A friend of mine refuses to see the movie because she's afraid it will sully her attitude towards Ms. Jolie. I certainly don't understand the sentiment. Jolie's performance onscreen was magnificent. I never knew her voice could be so sinister and seductive at the same time. Her off-screen (sort of) moments were just as good. We never quite get to see what she looks like with her glammer down, but we do get a good impression as to why Grendel was no looker.

Beowulf was a great movie and a wonderful way to kick off the holiday blitz of blockbusters. I highly recommend seeing it in 3D. There are plenty of great visuals that really burst out of the screen. There are also a couple of those, "Hey look! This is in 3D! See how this object is coming right out of the screen? Crazy, huh? Imagine watching this without 3D! This scene would be so out of place because we're trying so hard to point out how very 3D it is!" that are so standard in 3D movies. For those of you that have seen Vincent Price's House of Wax, think of the paddle board scene and you'll know what I'm talking about. Find it in Digital 3D and you won't be disappointed, IMAX 3D would be even better, though I don't think you'll go wrong with the standard 2D version either.

I give Beowulf fourteen out of fourteen dead thanes on a scale I just made up that doesn't mean anything.