May I Point Out That the Sex Appeared To Be Consensual; Both Animals Were Smiling

Another fine episode of The Office aired this week. So many great lines, so little desire to turn this blog into a mirror of officetally.com. Still, I must share some. For example, this episode featured perhaps the most entertaining prank Jim has played on Dwight yet. First, the setup: Jim walks in to the Office carrying wearing a yellow shirt and a bad tie with his hair combed just like Dwight’s. Then, after sitting down stiffly, he squints at his screen and pulls out a large pair of glasses, just like Dwight’s.

Jim: Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question …
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought …
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

The hilarity of the episode could have ended there and I would have still reached my quota of laughs, but no, things went further.

It seems that our favorite amoral skeeve, Creed, failed to fulfill his duties as quality control and let slip a large batch of paper with an unseemly watermark.

Michael: We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24-pound cream letter stock. 500 boxes has gone out with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I’ve never been a fan.

There were some great Creed moments, including his horrifying detective work to locate an “escape goat” to his subsequent collection of goodbye money for the hapless employee, which he promptly pocketed, naturally. Ah Creed, you rascal!

Besides Creed’s machinations, we got to see two other stories play out. First, we find that Andy is an unknowing pedophile. Best I don’t spoil that one for those of you that haven’t seen it. Suffice it to say that it involves a two-page ad in the yearbook that says, “Good luck!” and a stirring rendition of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

The other plot focuses on Michael Scott’s rapid devolution from a responsible apologist to a ranting quasi-psycho delivering a videotaped ultimatum.

Michael: If I could leave you with one thought, remember, it wasn’t me. They are trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to god, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day.
Pam: One day for what?
Michael: That’s — they always give an ultimatum.

Kelly also had her brief time in the sunshine as Michael assigned the accounting staff to her department, customer service. If you know Kelly from this season, then you know how the training session with Kevin, Oscar, and Angela went.

Kelly: Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.
Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you’re missing while you’re teaching us to answer calls.
Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.
Angela: Can you just tell us what we need to do so we can go?
Kelly: Okay, Angela. I love your enthusiasm! All you need to know how to do is pick up the phone and say, “Customer Service, this is Kelly,” except don’t say Kelly. Say your own name. Or if you’re bored, you can just make up a name. Like one time, I said I was Bridget Jones, (British accent) and I talked like this for the whole conversation.
Kevin: Oooh, can I be … (awkward accent) Australian, mate?
Kelly: Absolutely!
Kevin: ‘ello … mate.
Kelly: I like ice cream. I need a boyfriend.
Kevin: I like ice cream, too, mate. Alli-ga-tors, and dingo babies.

There is a great deleted scene featuring Kelly and Angela up at NBC’s The Office Web site.

No action on the Karen/Jim/Pam front, and that is find by me. The show isn’t about them, after all, not wholly at least. It was nice to see all the interactions between the other characters in the place of more romantic plot development. I’m sure we’ll see things come to a head (that’s what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!) before the end of the season, which is three short weeks away. New episodes right up to the end!

As always, a big thanks to the fine folks at http://www.officetally.com/the-office-product-recall for the excellent work on quotes from the latest episodes!