Thing You Shouldn't Do #1:
Pierce your thumb with a staple then peel an orange
Why? Because it hurts, dammit!
Thing You Shouldn't Do #2:
Clip your iPod Nano Video to your belt and go to a Redskins game even though you know the seats are so narrow that your big ass will brush the sides every time you sit down.
Why? Because you won't have an iPod anymore!
Thing You Shouldn't Do #3:
Temporarily store a full bucket of paint 2 1/2 feet off the carpeted floor just behind your home office chair.
Why? Because this:
I hope this has been educational. Remember, kids, don't do what I do!
7 comments:
lol!
I really love this post...but I think it's missing something...
other things you shouldn't do:
#4. pray for a girl...because you know you're gonna get a boy.
The "don't do this" part of #2 should be "Go to a Redskins game."
Word verification: reptram.
It's a mass transit device for reptiles. "Yeah, I just took the RepTram to the town center to pick up some fresh bugs for dinner."
Hah hah hah, Denise, very funny. Since both of us want a girl this time, I'm sure the funniest thing that could happen now is for Stacy and I to have a boy. Just try to refrain from the "I told you so"s if it does happen.
I actually had a good time at the Redskins game, Jon. I don't follow football at all, but I'm not above hanging out with friends, pretending to root for a team, and eating free food. It was fun.
Oh, and I understand they extended the RepTram to go all the way to Gila-Mart now.
Yeah, but that's how they get you. First it's just a fun outing with friends, and then the next thing you know you're just like those guys in the NOC, jumping up and hollering like an idiot because some guy threw a ball to another guy. It's so easy to get sucked over to the dark side...
I think you know me well enough to realize that the possibility of that happening is about as great as me spontaneously becoming one of those guys throwing a ball to another guy.
You know I think you should be the one who replaces Jay Leno on the Tonight Show instead of Conan Obrian. Theres just nobody funnier than you. Seriously! Theres nothing better than your source of material. #1 an ability to tell stories. #2 A family to talk about . We have a winner. You !
Hah hah hah! Thanks, Dan. I wouldn't mind having a staff of comedy writers giving me comedy gold either, but I think Conan can keep the job for now.
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