Air Conditioners, Can’t Live Without Em, Can't Let Em Piss On Themselves

My recommendation to everyone that has a central AC: don’t break it at the beginning of summer.

Stacy and I have known since we moved in that we’d have to replace the AC within a couple of years. We were tipped off by the home inspector who said, “Yeah, you’ll have to replace the AC within a couple of years.” It’s old and it creates a noticeable halocline right at the second floor (yeah, yeah, halocline is the vertical salt water/fresh water barrier in bodies of water and has nothing to do with temperature, work with me here!) We figured the deafening sound every time the AC kicked on was another step towards that great big Freon factory in the sky. Little did we know that the AC’s demise was closer than we thought and that it would not die of natural causes.

Poor little AC, it deserved better than that.

It started early in the season shortly after the first heat wave hit us. Stacy found a puddle of water at the feet of the furnace/condenser stack in the basement. I figured it was the pvc pipe leaking since I never cemented the couplers I installed a couple of years ago. I was proved wrong after finding that the AC had soiled itself again post-cement.

Time to call a professional.

That was a mistake.

The HVAC tech said the condenser wasn’t draining properly and installed a little clear U-pipe near the top of the pipe leading out of the unit (yes, Jon, I said unit.) Yay! Our problem was fixed for only a couple hundred dollars!

That is, until the AC left a puddle like a puppy frightened by the postman. This time we could see the leak inside the cabinet. The water was going down the U-pipe, but it couldn’t make it back up the other side because it was actually higher then the beginning of the U-pipe. Basic physics must not be a prerequisite to servicing HVACs. The leak was actually on the other side of the cabinet, right above the electrical panel and eventually leading down to the furnace pilot light. Warning bells rang in the dim recesses of my mind. Surely this was not a good combination.

I fashioned a makeshift drain out of some old dryer ducting and a bucket. Macguyver’s got nothing on me! Of course I can’t leave well enough alone. We had already called the HVAC guy back, but I wanted to see what I could do in the meantime. I must have bumped the dryer duct, because as I was messing with the U-pipe on the other side, I could smell the telltale scent of burning plastic and metal that signals an electrical fire and the HVAC’s impending doom.

Being the genius that I am, I continued to work at the U-pipe while the AC struggled on. It didn’t last long, though. A loud snap-pop, the death rattle of the aged equipment, signaled the end of it all. Stacy ran into the other room to hit a circuit breaker, but it was too late. I glanced in the cabinet and saw a small blue flame. I snuffed it out and hung my head as the acrid smoke wafted up from the HVAC.

What’s the cost of a new HVAC? Oh, only five grand. It’s a good thing we’ve been saving up. What’s that? We haven’t? Darn. I guess it’s a good thing we’ve got credit for it. Oh? We don’t have that either? Crap. Well it’s good that the HVAC company offers 12 months same as cash! What do you mean I don’t qualify for that? What’s that? Home Depot is selling window AC units for $200? Sold!

I didn’t find out until yesterday that applying jointly, Stacy and I qualify for the 12 months same as cash from a different lender, so it looks like we’ll get a new HVAC next week. I’m really not sure how Stacy’s complete lack of income helps us qualify when I can’t get the financing alone. Ah well, at least we’ll have a cool house once the 100+ temperatures hit.

What’s the moral of the story? Don’t let your AC piss on it’s own electrical panel.