Quasi-bachelorhood, Sweaty Work, Screaming Slugs, Overweight Houses, and More Sweaty Work

Monday found me spending the morning with Stacy and the girls at Dr. Jim’s Emporium of Back Ache, Neck Injurie, Spine Crackyng, and All Natyral Remedys. Stacy wanted to get in a good session of spine crackyng before she and the girls made the arduous journey to Portland, OR. Stacy will be there for her friend’s life (and breast)-altering surgery. I say good on her. If you don’t have much to begin with and adding somewhat will make you feel good about yourself, then get implants by all means. With her husband going to school full time, she won’t have much help around the house with her three little boys. This is where my wife comes in, with her three little girls. So what you actually have now instead of an invalid with three boys is an invalid, three boys, three girls, and my wife. Lucky her. More on her traveling travails later.

Don't worry, she's used to traveling!

In the meantime, I have been plunged back into quasi-bachelorhood. As I’ve said before, I am a boring bachelor. Not only do I not do any of the “fun” things other bachelors do, I don’t do any of the “fun” things other people in general do. My idea of a wild time is catching a double feature at the movies. Wooooo! That being said, my next two weeks will most likely involve puttering around the house while I try to finish up projects that have been waiting forever.

I've really got to finish that living room!

One such project is the yard. It’s amazing what weeds will do when left to their own devices as we vacation, recuperate from minor surgery, sit on our lazy asses, etc. I made some good headway today, but was cut short when my lawnmower got so hungry that it decided to perform some self-cannibalism. Either that, or the rubber piece that smooves down the grass before cutting suddenly became suicidal. It went right under the blade, metal mounting rod and all. I decided that since I had already sweated out my first two bottles of water and I still had a service project to attend later, I would stop for the day.

Foreground: Mowed, Background: Overtaken by the Verge

I’ve seen a few trailers for Monster House over the last couple of months and thought I’d preview it to see if Stacy could take Vicki. Unbeknownst to me, the theater I chose was showing the 3D version. Bonerus! I sat through the usual batch of kid movie previews and was surprised at how entertained I was at the trailer for Dreamwork’s Flushed Away. The screaming slugs just put it over the top for me. Although Nick Park (the feller what does the Wallace and Gromit) has nothing to do with it, it is an Aardman Animation production. The animation looks like computerized versions of Park’s work. There’s a short clip of one slug below, but the big one is at the end of the full trailer. Check it out here.

The movie itself wasn’t bad. I certainly wouldn’t take Vicki to see it, though. Just the first 15 minutes would give her nightmares for months. The animation was done Polar Express-style with motion capture suits on the original actors. The cast list is impressive, including Steve Buscemi, Catherine O’Hara, Fred Willard, Maggie Gyllenhal, Jason Lee, Kevin James, Nick Cannon, Jon Heder, and Kathleen Turner. Everyone did a fantastic job. The big payoff is when you find out that a former circus sideshow “giantess” (which is a nice way of saying, “she’s as big as a house”) is responsible for the haunting.

Oddly enough, she didn't sing

I polished off the day with a couple of hours helping a lady from the church. Apparently, the church has been helping her remodel her home after a bunch of unfortunate flooding accidents. I worked mainly on some drywall with a sprinkling of electrical work. I also could have filled another couple of buckets with sweat. I don’t know if it is the humidity or just me, but I have been perspiring like a perforated swine.

Because I've mentally scarred you with this talk about sweat, here's a picture of sexy Halle Berry in sweats. Feel better?