Welcome to May!

And now, here's a message from Despair Inc. for all you lolcat lovers out there.



This last Tuesday we went to Asahi (nee Kobe's,) a Japanese hibachi grill, to celebrate another birthday. Happy birthday, Paul! As usual, the cook was very entertaining. This one was actually better than others we've had. He had a few jokes, but it was funnier watching his reactions to the hibachi grill n00b we had with us. She was Paul's date and had apparently never eaten at a place like that before. After the first gout of flame from the cook's oil-covered grill, she scooted her chair back about three feet. She was sitting right in the middle where we forced her to sit after finding out she had never been before, of course. I don't think she trusted our cook with that much flame. The show went on with plenty of laughs until the cook was ready to make the main course. Naturally, he had to oil up the grill again. By this time, Paul's date had inched her way forward so she was only about a foot from the table again. FWOOSH! She was a good sport about it, but the look in her eye told the cook that if he knew what was good for him, he wouldn't light anything else on fire. Naturally, he did it anyway. This time it was just the onion volcano, so no one came to bodily harm, but the risk was there.

Perhaps, no, definitely more entertaining was Stacy's attempt at catching shrimp. The cook had set aside some shrimp to chop into tiny bits and toss into the diners' mouths near the end. Most everyone caught theirs after the first, second, or third try. Stacy, not so much. The cook actually ran out of shrimp bits to toss at Stacy as they rebounded off her chin, nose, forehead, pink hair, and even her teeth when she was laughing too hard to open her mouth. There was a collection of shrimp arrayed around her chair that would feed an Ethiopian family. Finally, after "recycling" the last of the bits that landed on the table, the cook made the shot and Stacy caught it. She nearly received a standing ovation.

It's comforting to know that even when we get out without the kids, we don't need them to fling food all over and make the cleaning staff earn their money.

Birthdays, Golf, Hair Dying, the Usual

It's been a busy week for me. Besides the fact that Stacy apparently hijacked my blog (don't save your login if Stacy is around.) I had quite a bit to do. This Thursday, we helped Kathleen celebrate her mumble mumble birthday at Clydes in Ashburn. I hope your mumble mumblenth year is a great one, Kathleen! Thursday was also the birthday of the son of a good family friend. Happy 2nd, Traven! His birthday was a bit low-key compared to Kathleen's. Although he probably had more fun sticking his hands into the cake than Kathleen did. Then again, she may have done that after we left. She was on her second cocktail by then. Maybe I shoulda hung out.

I took Friday off after being invited to a round of golf with some friends of mine from church. Although I remember going to the courses with my dad a couple of times, I've never swung anything bigger than a putt-putt putter in my life. I warned my partners of my extreme lack of experience and general lack of shape. Well, not so much lack of shape as lack of definition. It seems as time goes on, I grow a bit more blurry around the outside. I plan to eventually blur into a big, round, Scott-colored blob. Hah hah!

But I digress. After renting some clubs and a cart, my partner and I joined the other two in our party and we hit a few balls around. I was told that I don't swing like a girl. I swing like a nerd. I chose to take that as a compliment. After three or four holes, I felt I was actually getting the hang of it. A few good, solid contacts with the ball does wonders for your confidence. I found that my skills for expert green-reading do not extend past Mario Golf. As one of my partners said, I could scare the crap out of any hole without actually getting it in. I think I sunk four or five by the end of the 18 holes. I'd post a score, but with the amount of pickups I did, it really wouldn't be an accurate reflection of my performance.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself. There was talk of making us a semi-regular foursome, which is very appealing. I'd love to go again. There is a church-sponsored golf swing event at a local driving range this coming Thursday that I'll be attending. Maybe I can work on keeping my club head down instead of topping the ball and pretending the fairway is a big pool table. Now if I can just convince Stacy that I want a set of clubs for Father's Day.

Stacy and I got to go out Saturday night. Out was in, this time. Our church has been running adult dinner groups to help people to get to know fellow church members that they normally would only see a couple hours a week. We had a great time, especially discussing the unorthodox method of ridding yourself of caterpillars using half-empty cans of beer. No comment on how the cans of beer reach the half-empty state.

Stacy's newest hair dye had arrived earlier that day, hot pink this time. On a whim, we stopped by the drug store to pick up a bleaching kit on the way home. After driving the babysitter home and tucking the girls in bed, I set about playing at being a beautician. Stacy was very patient as I painted bleaching solution all over her head. After an hour and half, Stacy was thoroughly blonde. It was an odd thing to see. I have never seen her mid-dye like that before. I don't think blonde is a good color for her. You can be the judge further down in the post. After a quick rinse in the sink and a shampoo upstairs, Stacy was ready for the actual dye. Now that was fun. It's been a while since I've been able to indulge my artistic side. While saturating someone's head in hot pink dye isn't exactly painting, it felt something like it as I brushed the vibrant paste through her hair.

And let me tell you. Hot pink barely does the color any justice.

While it's not quite as impressive as in person, you can see the color in the slideshow. Stacy revealed today that her hair color is supposed to react to black light. I'm going to be digging mine out of the Halloween decorations tomorrow. If it's this trippy in normal light, I can hardly wait to see how surreal it is in the dark.

No "The Office" review this week. I got to the episode late and it's a bit untimely to review it now. It was a good one, though. I was glad to see that the little prick Ryan isn't having quite as great of a life as it had seemed before. I'll try to get in a good review next week.

Also, Ironman opens this Friday, so there's that too.

Now, the slideshow:

Mawwaaahha

I have taken over Scott's Blog. He left himself signed in. Now his evil crazy wife can write all the things about him you never knew.

He is afraid of the dark. (not really)
He hates the color purple. (not really)
He wishes he had a boy. (So not true he just wishes for more guns)
Hmm now I ran out of weird things to write about him. I love you dear

Tammy Would Like to Play

I just got an email from my sister about her new car. Congratulations, Tammy! It looks like a lot of fun. For those of you who don't know her, this car fits her personality to a T.

To a "T"? What does that even mean? How do you fit anything to a T, much less a personality? Where do these things come from? Why would I say that? Who do I think I am? Wait, who am I? Where am I? What's going on?

I'm scared.

Oh yeah, some pictures:

Goodbye, Dave, and Godspeed

Just thought I'd drop a quick note and take a moment to say good-bye to a beloved comic book blogger, Dave Campbell. Dave has ruled the roost at Dave's Long Box since March of 2005. That's a long time to have been a blogger, much less a comic blogger. I've been reading Dave's blog for almost as long as I've known about blogs. I wish him good fortune in his future efforts, blogging and otherwise. My hat off to you, Sir Dave.

See, even James Remar is sad to see Dave go.

Chair Model: A Return to Funny

Last night's episode of The Office was like coming home. We return to the comfortable environs of the Scranton branch and all of the lovable and somewhat hapless employees of Michael Scott. Wait, did I say employees? I meant match-makers. Bereft at the loss of his love life, Michael forces his people to set him up with eligible lady-friends or be fired. Hilarity ensues. No, really, it ensues like crazy.

Imagine, if you will, Pam setting up Michael with her sweet, unsuspecting landlady. Dwight pledging as God as his witness, to not only find a chair model that Michael is smitten with, but bring her back and force her to bear his seed. HIS SEED. Kevin giving the name of his hot and juicy redhead, Wendy (try your best figuring out who that really is.)

We also get a nice romantic bomb dropped on us from one of the subplots. Jam fans should be thrilled with that one.

Here are some great lines from this episode.

Creed (after talking about getting a second chair): Only one to go.

Michael (in sympathy to Kevin's fiance dumping him): You don't deserve her.

Michael (trying to drum up a date from Oscar): Hello Oscar Meyer weiner-lover.

Michael: What part of shorn't don't you understand, Kevin?

Stanley (on Michael's "love cards"): There's nobody I hate enough to write her name on this card.

Michael: I'm a man of intensity. Of...of...cool. And youth. And...and...passionately.

Andy: Did I do this for me? No. I did this for the little guy. The Joe sixpack. The guy who wakes up every morning in his $400 a month apartment and wonders how he's going to pay his mortgage that month, wonders how he's going to fill his car up with oil, wonders how am I gonna pay my kids orphanage bills? That guy shouldn't have to wonder where he's gonna park.

Obligatory Self-Congratulatory Dept

As I was walking out the door yesterday, my boss stopped me in the hall and called me back to my cube. There, he presented me with a Mysterious Box. What's in the box? A little touch of ego.

Spider-Man World Tour Concludes, For Now!

To finish off his whirlwind tour, Spider-Man takes us through an introspective look at what is undoubtedly his greatest appearance ever, the short-lived "The Amazing Spider-Man" from 1978. Here we see Spider-Man back in his native New York, settling down after his world tour to fight crime the old-fashioned way, with bulky metallic web spinners and shiny bulging eyes!


Bonus additional scenes from the Japanese leg of Spidey's tour!

The Office: Dinner Party (A Date with Disappointment?)

Sooooo, we finally got a new episode of The Office Thursday annnnnnnnd, it was kinda disappointing. I expected a lot more from the wizards behind The Office after such a long hiatus.

Quickie summary: Jan and Michael have a few people over for a dinner party. Jan and Michael have a creepy relationship. Jan and Michael make everyone feel really uncomfortable, including the audience. Everyone leaves and their relationships are revealed to be really crappy too, except for Jam who have the only purely amusing scene in the episode.

I think achieving uncomfortable humor successfully is a fine art. One at which The Office generally excels. The show usually hits more often and harder with the funny than a Ben Stiller movie. Perhaps in this one the creepy uncomfortableness was too far out or not far out enough. I just couldn't avoid feeling like one of the people at the dinner party, which would not have been fun at all.

Am I wrong? Was it a great episode? What do you think?

The Most Important Bill of All, A clean bill of health.

For those of you that didn't know, Stacy went into surgery today. It was voluntary and planned, so no worries there. She has had a history of bad sinus infections for as long as I've known her. Her ear/nose/throat doctor told her that they are in part caused by the small sinus opening in her left nostril. Today, she had it widened.

Stacy came through just fine. The doctor said that there were no problems and she was ready to walk, or wheel rather, out in about 45 minutes. She's resting as I write this, but in good health and spirits.

Spider-Man World Tour: Dasvidanya!

In a surprise move, Spider-man decided to appear as Peter Parker for the Russian leg of his world tour. Watch closely, an unmasked Eddie Brock makes an appearance towards the end.

Your Monthly Moment of Inspiration

Ever had one of those lifetimes?

Good News!

I'm really excited. I was going to post this later when things are finalized, but I don't think I can wait. I just got off the phone with Stacy so she knows first (I'd hate to have her learn from someone else that's read my blog.)

I got a huge promotion! It involves a bit of travel, but I think it's worth it. Besides, what's a couple of trips to Iceland when this much money is involved? Did I mention the money? Scads of it! We're going to have the biggest house in Saskatchewan! Oh yeah, we have to move to Saskatchewan. The commute will be pretty much the same anywhere we live out there, since I'll have the corporate helicopter to pick me up. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the semi-quarterly meetings in Southern Mexico. I think somewhere in Mérida, Yucatán. I hear they've got really cheap medication for sale down there, so I can hook some people up while I'm at it.

We're so excited! We'll be flying to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Friday for a house-hunting expedition (sled dogs and everything, it's going to be great!) Anyone want to watch Blue for us while we're gone?

Leave your congratulations in the comments!

Spider-Man World Tour: Hindi Style!

My apologies, my posts are going to be even more sporadic than usual in the coming weeks. How is that possible, you ask? Nobody likes a wise arse, is my answer.

I've started online college courses again. I'm hoping to be done with my bachelor's degree sometime this fall. We'll see.

In the meantime, we rejoin Spider-Man on his whirlwind international tour. Today's stop: India!

Spider-Man World Tour Layover in NYC

Spider-Man takes a brief rest from his World Tour to quench his thirst. Er, their thirst. He - er - they must really lika the juice.



And what's a bunch of Spider-Men without a Superman, princess, Dracula, dog, and two monkeys thrown into the mix?

It Comes As No Surprise to Anyone

Here's what you already knew.

TV Reviews

Yup, I don't like to toot my own horn, so I'll let some random site with no credibility do it for me!

Happy St. Patrick's Day (and other unrelated asides)

So yeah, happy drink-a-bunch-of-green-beer and puke magic on the sidewalk! Actually, I'm pretty sure almost everyone that reads this thing doesn't drink. We celebrated Shamrock Day and the first day of Spring by also celebrating a good friend's baptism at Sweetwater Tavern. That's right, Drunken Ribeye. If I'm not going to get drunk, why not get my dinner drunk? After a quick second trip to the grill, my steak was perfect. I still have yet to eat a more flavorful steak than theirs.

Congrats, Paul!

Completely Unrelated and Actually Longer than the Main Entry Dept.
Stacy and I have spent the last couple of days catching up on some of our recorded television shows, specifically, Pushing Daisies.

Let me give you a little background. Pushing Daisies was created by Brian Fuller, the same man that created Dead Like Me for Showtime. We loved that show. It was about a girl with no life to speak of that finds, upon flaming death by rocketing space toilet debris, that she is now a grim reaper. She meets other reapers, who treat this supernatural job like a, well, job. The high-concept is as quirky as it sounds, made even more quirky by the cast and situations throughout the series. It was a joy to watch and left us wanting more every week.

Unfortunately, Showtime only aired two seasons before giving Dead Like Me the scythe.

Mr. Fuller next graced us with an even shorter-lived series on Fox, this one called Wonderfalls. It featured a hapless girl in a dead-end job at a gift shop atop Niagra Falls avoiding the successes the rest of her family had made. A brief 'sode in the first episode revealed that she could talk to inanimate objects, or rather, inanimate objects could talk to her. They would do so at increasingly entertaining times, often pestering her until she did some seemingly random or counter-productive act that would always wind up for the betterment of her life or the lives of those around her.

Again, high concept was brought masterfully to fruition by Brian Fuller's talent and skill as the charmingly quirky show progressed. given that it was a great show with a fantasy theme aired on Fox could only mean one thing, of course. Cancellation. This time after a mere three episodes. We managed to see nine episodes aired (according to www.tv.com, I remember fewer) before the show was fully taken off the air. Mercifully, the DVD that came out early the next year contained all of the filmed episodes, 13 or 14 in all.

Now, ABC brings us Pushing Daisies. A high concept series if there ever was one. This time, our protagonist is a pie maker (played by Wonderfall's protagonist's on-screen brother) with the unique ability to bring any dead thing to life by merely touching it. However, if he touches it again, it will die again, this time forever. The other and more worrisome caveat is that if a thing is kept alive longer than a minute, then something (or someone) must die in its place. Nature loves balance, I suppose. The first part of his ability has led us to the best charming quirk of this quirk-filled show, his inability to share any intimate contact with his childhood and current sweetheart, whom he had to bring back to life in the first episode. This leads to many adorable, sometimes almost sickeningly, scenes as the two of them find new ways to express their affection. I say almost sickeningly because I'm a big softy and Fuller often manages to offset the schmaltz with appropriate reactions from the hardened knitting detective (the pie-maker's partner) and the love-lorn waitress (pining for the pie-maker *choke*!)

Now with the concept out of the way, how is the show itself? Just as good as I'd expect it to be, delivered with panache, style, and a vibrant dream-like color palette by Mr. Fuller. I found myself throughout the episodes exclaiming, "she's so darned cute!" of the pie-maker's sweetheart, or, "I love watching Emerson!" as the knitting detective tried to abrasively escape the conversations that cropped up around him, or, "I love Olive!" even though she's vying for an obviously smitten pie-maker's heart, or, "Swoozie Kurtz is hilarious!" as childhood sweetheart's grieving aunts, Vivian and Lilly, reminisced about synchronized mermaid swimming, or, "The narrator is perfect!"

That last one is perhaps the most personally jarring for me, since the show is narrated by Jim Dale, the voice behind the audio recordings of most of the Harry Potter books. It's personally jarring because I could not stand the way he narrated many of the characters in the books. I have no such problems here. He's got the cultured British accent and story-telling cadence that showcase the eccentricity, charm, and magic that is Pushing Daisies.

Pushing Daisies is a bittersweet joy to watch. A joy, for the obvious care that is given to craft an engaging fantasy that has yet to disappoint in its nine episodes thus far. Bittersweet, for the knowledge that it is just a snappy reality show pitch away from the chopping block. Pushing Daisies was granted a reprieve after the writer's strike this year. It is getting another chance to dazzle audiences come this Fall. I will certainly be one of those prepared to be dazzled.

If you're interested in keeping truly original programming on the air, especially when the alternative is another reality show, you may want to check out Pushing Daisies for yourself. There are five full episodes on ABC's site. I highly recommend them.

Oh, and if you have a Nielsen's box on your TV, please, please, please don't let this show get canceled. I haven't had nearly enough yet!

Full Episode (with considerably fewer commercials than when first aired!)

Spider-Man: World Tour

Next stop for our globe-hopping wall crawler? Japan!

New Family Portraits!

We finally got around to dragging the kids into the portrait studio this weekend for family portraits. It's been a while since our last set and we wanted to immortalize Stacy's grape hair. We have long learned that Scarlett is in her best mood in the morning, so we made a 10:00 at Kiddie Kandids.

Amazingly enough, our devious plan worked! All three of the girls were on their best behavior. I'm sure that the promise of ice cream if they took good pictures had nothing to do with it. The biggest problem was just getting all three of them to look at the camera and smile at the same time.

It turns out the right combination of a funky-colored duster and rubber ducky squeaks is the key. The unforeseen side affect of said funky-colored duster was Scarlett moving from sitting next to Stacy, to laying on her back, and finally standing in my arms behind Stacy to avoid the dastardly duster's tickling capabilities. Not two to quibble, Stacy and I were happy with the results.

We figured the next task would be much harder to accomplish: all three girls on their stomachs with their chins in their hands. I know what you're thinking, whose chins were in whose hands? We opted to go for the easy shot and had them hold their own. Lazy, I know. In this one, we just couldn't get Scarlett to look at the camera and smile in the same shot. Her long-suffering sisters (did I just say those two terms together?) were giving their best plastered smiles and I feared the entire facade would shatter before we could get a decent shot. Luckily, the photographer caught Scarlett in mid-babble in what approaches a smile in the way a gator approaches breakfast.

For the last three shots, we gave the girls their choices of backdrops and props for individual pictures. Vicki, being Vicki, chose the floweriest one, with flower petals on the ground and flowers in her lap. Yup, she's the tomboy. She even managed to edge in a little bit of a real smile amid the cheese this time.

Zoe, on the other hand, refused to smile when the photographer was anywhere near her camera. Don't get me wrong, she was all smiles the rest of the time, even giggling every now and then (I know many of you that have met Zoe probably think I'm lying, but it's true!) As soon as the photographer would step back from the shot, Zoe's face would approximate happiness in much the same way Kraft Velveeta Cheesefood Product approximates cheese. It's still a cute picture.

Scarlett, possibly the prickliest of the bunch, was uncharacteristically easy. She wanted the same white background with easter bunnies and easter eggs in a basket as props. The biggest problem there was getting her to settle on one or two eggs in her lap and leaving the rest in the basket and the bunnies on the floor. She was very helpful, trying to pick up the bunnies and give them to me, it just didn't make for a cute pose. We finally managed to convince her to leave the rest of the props where they were and sit still. Then came the challenge of getting her to lower the eggs from her chest where they were serving as a makeshift shield from the dreaded tickling duster. Our wily photographer snapped some quick shots in mid-raise and we hastily declared that was it.

All in all, Stacy and I feel that we made out ahead of the kids in that interaction for once. We treated them to frozen custard and us to good old Utah fry sauce at Neilsen's in Vienna.

I'll pop up a slideshow soon. For now, if you want to look at or buy some of the pictures for yourself (we're sending some to family members, so you guys might want to wait a bit first,) you can go here.

Update: Hah! That was quick! Here's yer slideshow thingie:

The Latvian's Strike! (Hail Doom!)

You may or may not know this about me, but I am a fan of 80's pop music. Not all of it. Some of it grates on my nerves as much as the next Jon, but there are quite a few hits that I dig.

Very few do I dig more than Europe's "Final Countdown." The pumping rock beat, the guitar riffs reaching climactic crescendos, the ear-drum-kicking solos, all of it. Well, almost all of it. The vocals are a little reedy and dated.

I also love symphony. Symphony with a beat is even better. The surprisingly aesthetically pleasing string quartet, Bond, is constantly in my playlist, as are other orchestral-based ear-rockers such as E.S. Posthumus and various movie scores.

What would happen if you put the two together, though?

Enter Latvia (Hail Doom!) the closest thing we'll ever get to Dr. Doom's homeland of Latveria. Rather, enter the Latvian Symphony Orchestra (Hail Doom!) and their own trio. This collection of mop-haired musicians manage to strum and bow their way through the most stirring rendition of "Final Countdown" I've ever heard. Don't believe me? Take a listen for yourself.



If you can watch that, complete with every stirring solo and riff lovingly reproduced in glorious symphonic sound and tell me it wasn't awesome, then you're either deaf, or have no soul, or both. I'm not going to rule that out.

Now if only I can find a symphonic recording of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"

Thanks to bwe.tv for the drop!