I'm Still Alive, Just in Training

Finally! I actually have some time to write. Ugh, these past couple of weeks have been sorely lacking in recreational PC time. I have either been at work, doing school work, helping Stacy around the house, or showing the visiting in-laws a good time every single day this past week. Now, I'm sitting in Red Hat training. I have once again found myself with some free time at the end of a lab. The book provides twice as much time as I need for the labs and the instructors generally let even more time pass before moving on to the next section.

Classmates, what ya gonna do?

Speaking of instructors, this is my first Red Hat training here that has a different teacher. As you may remember from a previous post, my instructor for the first three courses was Wooly Willy himself. This week's course is being taught by Robby Coltrane's sister. Well, I don't know for a fact if they're related, but if she's not his sister, then she's Coltrane in drag. She's a nice Norwegian with an English accent, which sometimes has the odd effect of making her sound Russian at times. Plus, she laughs like a chipmunk. Hmm, Robby Coltrane in drag as a chipmunk. I need sleep. She's the same instructor that Jon had in his last class. Apart from her, this class is a total SausageFest. Seriously, she is the only person here without a y chromosome. Ah well, it's not like I'm here looking to score. The receptionist down the hall is cute enough during my all-too-frequent trips to the bathroom.

Sadly, Robbie's audition didn't go as well as he'd hoped

In related news, although I caught it late, I did watch this week's premier of Family Guy. Peter's prostrate problems aside, Stacy and I got the biggest laugh at Stewie's sudden dependence on Lois. If Scarlett could talk, that would have been a direct translation of Stacy's daily life. I guess it's a wonder she hasn't dumped Scarlett in a washing machine yet. I maintain that God made kids cute as a defense mechanism.Baby animals are almost as bad

Venture Brothers, although in the midst of an on again, off again season, did premier a new episode this week, too. The reappearance of the haplessly old-fashioned astronaut, Col. Manstrong, was great, as was Brock's fued with one of the president's secret service men. We also got a glimpse of Jonas Jr.'s new home life with Mr. Incredible's wife and good friend Ned (hilarious Venture Bros analogues to Marvel's Invisible Woman and Thing). Brock is incredibly restrained in this episode with any ultraviolence kept off-screen sadly. We do actually see Rusty shine for just a few minutes as he traps the president, Monica Lewinsky's parellel, Brock, Brock's SS rival, Rusty, Col. Manstrong and Mama Manstrong in the oval office with a force field generator. Rusty shines that is, until the final post-credit scene when the white house maid dissolves the force field with the Universal Cleaner, club soda. Not going to protect many men in the field when all the enemy has to do is bring a seltzer bottle. It does, however, open up entire realms of possibilities with enemy uniforms. Imagine, the base camp is perfectly safe under their Venture Industries Force Field when suddenly, they are assaulted by a platoon of circus clowns crammed in a tiny VW Bug. What's next, exploding cream pies? Hmmm, exploding pies...

Latest in military firepower, the laser-guided multi-warhead tactical cream pie

I promised some pics of our New York trip and have not delivered yet. Sorry. I'll get them up next time I can blog from home. We've since been to the Civil War Manassas Battlegrounds, the Natural History Museum, and Luray Caverns & Garden Maze to name a few. Like I said, it's been a busy couple of weeks. I actually look forward to the relative quiet of my work week now.

There Go My Dreams of Winning the Indy 500

Red Hat class is over. I am not sure if I’ll be attending RH300 in a couple of weeks or in October yet. Class was pretty good. I had a better grip on the information this time around than in my last class, but I still feel unprepared for another test.

A fun thing happened on the way home from class on Wednesday, though. As soon as I started the car, the engine rumbled to life a few decibels higher than usual. No big deal, it sounded a little more throaty, like I had a cold-air intake on the engine. By the time I made it home, it sounded like I had a sports car with a coffee-can-sized muffler. I shrugged and figured I’d let the mechanic take a look at it next week. The next morning, about ¾ of the way to Red Hat training, I shifted from 3rd to 4th gear and it sounded like I had left my exhaust on 495. I checked my rear view mirror to watch the carnage as rush hour traffic swerved to avoid the debris, but there was none. That didn’t stop the engine from deafening me, though. Where before the car sounded like it had some aftermarket exhaust work done, now it sounded like I was front-row at the Indy 500. I made it to Red Hat and texted Stacy the good news after my teeth stopped rattling. Just what she needed on her birthday, right? Oh, did I mention that she was due for a root canal in the afternoon, too? Yeah. Great birthday. Anyway, my drive home involved me slouched down in the seat as every person I passed glared at me until I was out of earshot.

“Mommy, why is that car so loud?”
“Because the prick driving is an inconsiderate jerk, honey. Let’s give the bad man dirty looks until he goes away.”

I kept waiting for a cop to pull me over for the noise, but I lucked out. Once my hearing returned, I thought I’d give Stacy the thrill of pretending she was in an F1 racer and let her drive the car to the mechanic. As she drove ahead of me, I noticed that the pipe that leads from the catalytic converter to the muffler was dangling. Rust had eaten clean (dirty, actually) through where the pipe met the converter. I guess that would explain the extra noise and the new soothing rumble seat feature! Stacy looked like she had just gotten off a death-dealing bad carnival ride. I went inside to hand over the keys while she tried to stop her whole body vibrating. I figured with over 100k miles on the converter that it had finally given up the ghost.

Update: I just heard from Stacy. Turns out the catalytic converter is fine, it’s just the pipe that connects to it that needs replacing. 100k+ miles and that converter is still converting. I love that car.

Idiocy, Wooly Instructors, Hot Canadians, and Not-So-Hot Receptionists

So I'm an idiot. I really need to learn how to read. For example, the class in which I am now sitting, RH253, is not a five-day course with a test during the last day. It is a four-day course with an optional test in which I could enroll. I would know that if I had read the friggin' Web site where I found the course in the first place. I could sign up for the test at the end of the week and try for my Technician and Engineer certification now, but I don't think I'll be doing that. There is another course, RH300, which reviews information from both the RH133 (the test I failed) and this course, followed by the tech/engineer test. That one runs from July 31 to August 4. I'll be signing up for that one. With the abysmal scores I got on the RH133 exam, I need as much review as possible.

My embarassing senior picture. Man am I glad I got rid of the side-fro!

Unlike Jon, it seems I lucked out in class this week. Number one, my class is not facilitated by Jabba the Hutt. Rather, it is being led by a man that bears more than a striking resemblance to Wooly Willy. I never really made the connection in my first two courses taught by him, but now that I have, I can't look at him the same. Don't get me wrong, he's a great instructor and a very interesting person. We've had a few good conversations during breaks.

Hi! My name is Willy. We're gonna learn all about Red Hat today!

The other good thing about class this week is the guy/girl ratio. There aren't a lot of people in this course, just 9 enrolled and eight actually attending, but two of them are girls. One is a techie from way back, she's been using Unix for over 13 years. She is what you would expect someone like that to look like, hair pulled back in a pony tail, no make up, t-shirt and jeans, nothing special. The girl sitting behind me, however, is much easier on the eyes. She's from Canada (she's already thrown out an “aboot” for us,) and is very cute. She has short, curly hair and a pixie-ish face. I mention this only because I have never been to such a technical course that is attended by any woman above the attractive level of a Polish babushka that doesn't believe in shaving her mustache. So, it looks like I have Canada to thank for this one. They can make a few things right Up North.

Blame Canada

The cute chick in class makes up for the letdown I felt when I passed the other office on this floor on the way to the bathroom. Jon had me all prepped for a hot receptionist down the hall. Not so much. What was sitting behind the reception desk was very greasy, from her hair to her shiny face. Maybe I caught her at a bad moment and she'll freshen up to beauty, but I couldn't help but think of Soul-Glo as I walked by.

Just let your soul glo!

On that note, I'll get back to class. I finished the last lab and lunch about an hour early, so I can already tell how fast this week will go by, which is to say, not at all.

Update:

Apparently, the receptionist I saw this morning was just the morning person. That, or she changed clothes, got a dye job, and drastic reconstructive facial surgery because now, there is a decidedly hot blonde sitting behind the desk showing off an amount of decolletage of which I definitely approve. I may be making some more trips to the bathroom. Eh? Eh? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? Eh?

Jon's a Right Bastard and Overheard Nerds Suck

Here I am, sitting at work alone. This is my first weekend back, and Jon has the first two days of it in Red Hat training. I don’t mind. I could ask for help, but the work is just busy enough to keep me going. What I do mind is Jon’s revenge. As he’s pointed out in numerous posts on his blog, we work in an operations center filled to brimming with nerds. Nerds like to talk. In general, the way nerds talk is very annoying, especially to people that have no interest in what the nerds are talking about. I feel for Brian, having to sit through conversation after conversation between Jon and myself on the topic of comic books. It’s no wonder he jumped at the chance to move desks (okay, he didn’t exactly jump, it was more like he got dragged kicking and screaming.) I recently pointed out the voice of one of the annoying nerds that never really got to Jon in the past while he mentioned a few that have. It is way too easy to hear them all when sitting alone at the desk. I feel surrounded by the inane chatter of nerds that know absolutely everything about anything. All of the annoying ones are here today, too. Not only the one I pointed out to Jon, but each other one he’s pointed out himself. Thanks, Jon. Your revenge on me is tenfold.

Not only that, but, and I hope I’m not stealing any thunder here, Jon proved his nerdish superiority over me in Red Hat today. He passed the mandatory portion of the Red Hat Certified Technician test today and may have even passed the second portion. This would make him one of the few people from the NOC that passed the test the first time round. I hope he made it, the bastard. Them’s some good NOC nerd bragging rights there.

RedHat Blues

Originally posted May 12, 2006

It's been a week now and the thought of it doesn't depress me quite so much, so I might as well write about it now. Last Friday I took the test to become a Red Hat Certified Technician (RHCT) at the Red Hat training facility in Tyson's Corner.

I failed miserably.

The first half of the test is compulsory. If you don't get 100Àyou don't get certified no matter how good you do on the second half. I didn't get 100àThe worst of it was that I overcomplicated one of the problems to the point of impossibility. I was one step away from getting it right. Further, it was a step I knew about and was postponing because I thought I had to do other things first. I never completed the step because I never completed the impossible steps I created first. The other one I missed because I did not go as far as I should have in the solution. Again, I could have got it right if I had just done what I knew needed to be done.

Why am I being so vague about the problems? It is not because I worry that my readers won't understand. I am sure quite a few of you would. No, it's because I signed an NDA. Given MySpaces' track record in legal issues (teacher screws underage student, murderer blogging, etc.) I don't need to incriminate myself. I now return you to your regularly scheduled self-pity session.

I only needed 70n the second half of the test to pass. It didn't matter for certification at that point, but I wanted to see if I could have been certified had I passed the first half. I got a whopping 63.7àI don't know what was more depressing, failing or getting so close to succeeding.

University class, 10 straight work days, family life, and a general funk have prevented me from posting any new blogs until now. I think I am over it. I am scheduled to go to the next level of Red Hat training for the engineering certification in July. If I pass the RHCT portion of the test, regardless of the results of the RHCE portion, I will be a certified technician. My goal is to pass both, of course. Not only will having an RHCT and RHCE help me get further in my current job, but if I am ever laid off, I'll have those certifications on my resume. I actually plan on going farther than the engineering level. I would love to become an architect. There are only about 50 of those right now. Unfortunately, that certification requires 5 or 6 more courses with their own tests, each costing a couple thousand to attend. My employer will only pay up to the engineer level. I will be footing the bill for anything further. We'll see how far I can get myself.