Virgin Mary

I mentioned in my last post that the girls' performances were over. Both of them had parts in holiday shows, just of vastly different scale.

Zoe, my three-year-old, goes to a small, home-run (but still licensed!) preschool with only three or four other kids. It's been great for our most anti-social child of the bunch. Apparently, when we're not there, she's the most outgoing and happy girl around. She sings, she talks, she plays with the other kids. This is all stuff she does with her sisters at home and some of the neighborhood kids, but would not even think about doing if she saw someone new around.

We like to call her our turtle. When she's in a bad mood or near someone she doesn't feel that she knows well enough, she'll crawl into her metaphorical shell and stay there until the situation has changed. This can take the form of her putting on the Pout of All Pouts and lowering her head to dropping on the ground and curling up like she really has a turtle shell to hide under. It's very cute, but sometimes a bit much.

Her preschool put on a small (read: tiny) production of the Nativity. They gave Zoe the perfect part, Virgin Mary. Mary just sits there gazing lovingly at the baby Jesus. No big deal, right?

She was excited when we got there. She went right down to get into costume (a scarf over her head and shoulders) while the rest of us, Stacy's visiting family, and the other kids' parents and grandparents, took our seats in front of the little show area. Zoe's teacher brought her out and had her kneel in front of the basket that would serve as the manger.

As soon as she entered the room, we knew the turtle was with us.

She sat there, eyes downcast, lips pursed, mouth frowning, eyebrows knitted, everything as if cast in stone. It was the cutest thing (is it bad that I consider my daughter's extreme shyness adorable?) The best part was when the angel, one of her fellow students, tried to place the baby Jesus into Mary's arms. She didn't move a muscle. The angel gave up after a few seconds and just put the baby Jesus into Mary's lap, where he stayed, untouched, for the rest of the program.

Thankfully, the program was short. Afterwards, we all sang a couple of Christmas carols and then adjourned for some refreshments. Zoe was perfectly fine after the Nativity scene was over. She was laughing and playing with the other kids like nothing had happened. Just don't put her in front of an audience.

Her Highness is not amused.

Equally Funny Sibling Idiosyncrasy Dept.
Casey nabbed a shot of Scarlett at her most evil right after we put a sticker on her nose for a rousing rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I'll see if I can get a photo up within the next couple of days of both of them.

Stink Eye Update:

Here is the shot Casey took of Scarlett while at the Nativity celebration:

Tell me that's not the greatest Pissed Off Toddler Face you've ever seen.

Bemoaning Christmas Decorations Lost

I've been wanting to do a post on our Christmas decorations, since we put them up the day after Thanksgiving, but I keep forgetting to take pictures to show them off. I suppose I could thrill you with a written description of the exciting colors and breathtaking designs, but somehow I don't think I'd do them justice. I will tell you this:

Our Christmas tree is purple.

Yes, Stacy has managed to get herself a purple Christmas tree this year. The artificial pine is not purple itself, but almost everything else on it is. It is actually a very nice effect. I think it would look better on a natural fuller tree, but we have allergies to deal with this year, so artificial it is.

The sad part about decorating this year is the loss of our beloved friend of the past three years, Mr. Inflatable-Santa-What-Pops-Out-of-a-Chimney-Sometimes-if-We're-Lucky. Mr. ISWPOoaCSiWL for short. Like a recalcitrant groundhog, he decided this year that he was not going to pop out at all. Instead, we were treated to the rather depressing sight of his pointed hat flopping over the rim of the chimney for a couple of seconds before sagging back into the air-puffed nether regions of the stack. You will be sorely missed, Mr. ISWPOoaCSiWL, sorely missed indeed.

The inner tinker in me has stashed him on the back porch. I think I'll get around to performing some exploratory surgery on the variable fan that pumps up his pedestal and try to convert it to always blowing instead of kicking in occasionally.

We may end up filling his forlornly empty spot on the front yard with this guy if we can find it within our budget. If we do and I manage to convert Mr. ISWPOoaCSiWL into Mr. ISWSPOoaC (Inflatable-Santa-What-Stays-Popped-Out-of-a-Chimney) then he'll probably decorate the side yard. It's criminally bare of Christmas cheer right now anyway. Then again, when you live on a corner lot next to the neighborhood play area, you learn to leave only objects you don't mind vandalized in the side yard.

Related Note Dept.
What's with the humbug this year? Our neighborhood was bare of Christmas decoration besides us and our next door neighbor until this weekend. Doesn't anyone decorate after Thanksgiving anymore?

Christmas Joy of Software Development

Software development is like Christmas.

I don’t mean that in the joy-to-the-world, open-the-presents-under-the-tree, goodwill-to-man kinda way. I mean in the mall Santa hauling one kid after another onto his lap as the harried short person in the elf costume shooed all of the eager kids from one end to the next and can’t I please have the Omnibot 2000? I’ve been super good all year! Why is Santa’s lap warm and wet? Did that last kid pee on Santa? Oh man, please tell me it was the last kid that peed on Santa. I don’t think Santa brings Omnibot 2000s to kids that pee on him.

Christmas Dreams Dashed on the Rocks of Reality

Um, back to topic

Let me explain. The customer is like the eager kid bouncing up and down in excitement on Santa’s knee. The kid rattles off a stream of things he wants as Santa listens patiently and smiles.

“And I want this, and that, and one of those, and another one of those, and five of these, and…”

He pats the kid on the head and sends him on his way with a candy cane. I know what you’re thinking; Santa must be the software developer. Oh no, that would be fun, because then the developer would have the power of Santa to reward or deny the eager kid his requests. Nope, the developer is Santa’s workshop elf. Santa’s lone workshop elf. You see, the elf doesn’t get to tell Santa that the toys he wants him to make are beyond reason. Santa tells him to make the toy and expects results come Christmastime. Did I mention that Christmas is two days away? And that there’s only one elf? Yeah, software development is like that.

Join me next week as I explain how raising kids is like being a Keebler elf!

What I Did(n't) Do During Winter Break

I hate Denver. It's all Denver's fault.

Early Wednesday morning found Stacy, the girls, and I up and ready to drive to Baltimore for our trip to Utah for Christmas. Being the experienced traveler that she is, Stacy decided to call United Airlines to confirm our flight reservations before we left the house. That's when we found out that our flights were cancelled. Yay.

Turns out that Denver was expecting 10 to 20" of snow that day. Also turns out that our flight routed through Denver. Bad combination. After talking to a United rep from India for about half an hour, Stacy was no longer in shape to deal with the situation. I took over and dealt with the rude agent for another 30 minutes. We got nowhere. Denver was closed and there were no other flights they could put us on.

We happened to book our flight through Travelocity, roaming gnome and traveling guarentee and all that. I gave them a call and got routed, guess where? That's right, India. The gentleman on the other line was a little nicer, but no more helpful. After an hour of getting even further nowhere, he transferred me to United.

Woo hoo.

This time I got someone that could actually use a computer and look up other flights. There were no flights available that day, but he could split us up and still get us to Utah the next day. Stacy and the girls were on the same flight out of Baltimore and through Denver, hopefully with clear runways by then, and I was out of Dulles with a layover in San Francisco of all places.

Since driving to Baltimore sucks and she would be able to sleep in a couple of hours, Stacy decided to book a room in an airport hotel. We let Vicki go to one more day of school and then headed up to the BWI Red Roof Inn. As we drove, I called Jon to see if he could pick me up the next morning for the drive into Dulles, that way we wouldn't have to pay long term parking fees.

Naturally, the change in traveling plans had to be shared with all of our family, so we spent the drive up making phone calls. Midway through one of the calls, Stacy got a message from United. Her flight had been cancelled again. Denver was getting pounded by a once-in-five-years storm and there was no flying in or out of the area.

At this point, Stacy was just about falling apart and I was quietly seething at United's ineptitude at rescheduling and rerouting flights. We stopped at a Ruby Tuesdays near the hotel for dinner and some decidedly unrelaxing hold time with Travelocity. The roaming gnome's rep couldn't get a hold of anyone at United, she kept getting disconnected after holding. Her solution? Telling me that I would have to call United instead.

We cancelled Stacy's hotel reservation and headed back down to VA. Stacy couldn't get anyone at United to answer. It seems they were having issues routing calls to agents all night.

How convenient.

We decided to stop by Washington/Dulles Airport to clear up the issue with a real person at a desk. The six other people in front of me in line were there for the same reason. As I stood there, the four United reps helping people finished up with their current customers and then two of them inexplicably left.

I don't care what your personal issues are. When you work in a customer service oriented industry, you damn well make sure your customers are taken care of before loafing off somewhere. Queue time was ridiculous, but after about an hour, I got up to the counter. The lady behind it was obviously stressed and bedraggled. I was apparently her last customer and the rest of the people in line were out of luck unless someone in baggage claim was willing to help.

The lady was mostly accomidating, but couldn't really help. This time there were literally no flights out until after Christmas. Naturally, this screwed up our holiday plans royally. There was no way I could get to go since I have to work again on the 27th. I decided to book Stacy out on the 28th since her return date was still January 4th. At least she'd have time with her family and friends. This time she and the girls would be flying out of Dulles, but still going through Denver. Hopefully the weather would be clear by then.

Stacy did some extra phonework this morning and found flights out on the 26th instead, but there was still nothing before Christmas. So now Stacy and the girls will be flying out of Dulles on the 26th, stopping over in San Francisco, and then flying on to Utah. It'll be a long flight for Stacy with all three girls and no one to help her, but I am hoping that the time in Utah will be theraputic.

Fun Little Side Note Dept.
Stacy proactively shipped all of our Christmas gifts to her father so we could have a nice Christmas morning in Utah. The only decoration we put up here was an artificial tree and a wreath on the front door. We are normally in the running for best decorated house, so it was hard for us. Now, decorationless and presentless, we faced a Christmas morning here in VA. Stacy and I found a babysitter today and spent another couple hundred dollars making another Christmas here at home. The kids will have two Christmas mornings now, lucky them.