Me No Remember to Post November

I took this back on the third, then promptly forgot to post it. Welcome to November! My favorite part of this one how the picture so aptly enforces the caption.

Halloween Pictures (Finally!)

Finally got around to transferring, editing, and uploading the photos from the different Halloween activities this year.

First up, we have the trunk or treat at our church. We joined up with a friend of ours and her family and came as the characters from Clue. Those of us that weren't characters from the game wore a weapon on the front and a room on the back. It was a lot of fun building the costumes. The payoff was a little more disappointing. The group costume competition at our church is generally pretty fierce, especially between the Waltons (our allies this year) and the Beatty's. However, for the double whammy this year, the Beatty's couldn't make it, and there was no group category. Ah well, the kids had fun anyway.

Next up, we have the 8th Annual Hawks Halloween Party. We had a really good turnout this year with four other families attending. The Waltons were coming, so we all donned our Clue outfits, only to find that there was a little miscommunication and they had decided to come in individual costumes. With less than half of the Clue board represented, our costumes needed quite a bit of explanation. We really slacked off on the pictures this year. I didn't even get a good one of the food spread. The funnest part was using dry ice on our blood and eyeball punch. What I didn't realize is that putting more dry ice in after the bubbles died down would eventually freeze the punch. We had punch-encased chunks of dry ice fused to the bottom of the bowl by the time I was done. Good times. Anyway, the bulk of the pictures were of the apple bobbing, a mainstay of our annual festivities.

Here we have Zoe's costume for her preschool's Bible-themed costume party.

And last we have the girls all dressed up before attacking the neighborhood in some good old fashioned candy extortion.

I was very disappointed in our neighborhood this year. About half of the houses with exterior lights on, the traditional "I'm-giving-out-candy" symbol, didn't answer the door or didn't have candy. Even those were few and far between. The only reason the girls filled their buckets was because everyone was handing out handfuls of candy. They seemed to pick up on the other disappointing trend, a marked decrease in the amount of trick-or-treaters. Last year we had almost 200 kids raid our candy. This year we didn't even get a fourth of that. I'm wondering if it's a cultural thing. One of the houses we stopped at had their lights on, but there was a nice hispanic lady leaving. She nodded to us and directed us to the door, so we figured candy awaited. After waiting for a few moments, a hispanic gentleman came around the corner of the townhouse complex bearing fast food. It looked like he just made a food run. He stuttered out, "Ah! Halloween! Uh, no, uh, candy! Wait, wait, wait!" as he started rooting around in his pockets. I was about to usher the girls away, wanting no part of whatever candy he had stashed there, when I saw what he retrieved. He had a wad of $1 bills, off of which he peeled three notes for my girls. I told him he didn't have to do it, but he insisted. Whether or not the candy was a cultural thing, I'll say this, that was a durn nice thing for him to do.

Anyway, I'm going to get these up on Facebook, too. You should be able to get to larger versions of the pictures by clicking somewhere in the slideshows if you want copies for yourself (I'm looking your way, Mom.) If any of you want originals, let me know in email.

Save The Pie Maker

I don't make impassioned pleas to my extremely limited readership often, except for those begging you not to waste an hour and a half of your life on a worthless movie, but this is different. I'm asking you to spend an hour of your life on a worthwhile TV program.

If you haven't seen it yet, let me tell you about Pushing Daisies. It is whimsical, fun, charming, and unique. The sets, props, and costumes are straight out of the storybooks. The plots are ingenious mysteries that serve to develop and showcase the fantastic characters.

The facts are these...

From Bryan Fuller (Heroes, Wonderfalls) and Barry Sonnenfeld (Men in Black) comes a critically acclaimed series with an unprecedented blend of romance, fantasy and mystery, Pushing Daisies, a forensic fairytale about Ned, a young man with a very special gift.

As a young boy Ned discovers that he can return the dead briefly to life with just one touch. But his random gift isn't without deadly consequences& as he soon finds out. He discovers the rules of his gift early: First touch - alive; second touch - dead again, forever; Keep something alive for more than a minute and something else has to die in its place.

Grown up Ned (Lee Pace) puts his talent to good use by touching dead fruit and making it ripe with everlasting flavor. He opens a pie shop. But his life as a pie maker gets more complicated when private investigator Emerson Cod (Chi McBride) discovers Ned's secret. Emerson convinces the cash-strapped Ned to help him solve murder cases (and collect a hefty reward fee) by raising the dead and getting them to name their killers.

Then Ned is handed the case that changes his life forever. His childhood sweetheart, Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Anna Friel), is murdered on a cruise ship under strange circumstances. Her death brings him back to his hometown of Coeur d' Coeur to bring Chuck back to life, albeit briefly, and to solve the crime. But once reunited with Chuck, Ned can't bring himself to touch her again.

Chuck becomes the third partner in Ned and Emerson's PI enterprise, but she encourages them to use their skills for good, not just for profit. Ned is overjoyed to be reunited with Chuck, the only girl he's ever loved. Life would be perfect, except for one cruel twist: If Ned ever touches her again, she'll go back to being dead, this time for good.

This season Ned and Chuck's relationship begins to change as Chuck yearns for more independence and moves out of Ned's apartment - without Ned's support. Lovelorn waitress Olive Snook (Kristin Chenoweth) cracks under the pressure of keeping Aunt Lily's (Swoosie Kurtz) deep dark secret -- that Lily is Chuck's mother -- and runs off to a nunnery. Digby gets a new friend when Pigby, a hog with special talents, moves in. And the sudden appearance of mysterious Dwight Dixon (recurring guest star Stephen Root), supposedly an old friend of both Ned's and Chuck's father's, spells trouble for everyone.

Pushing Daisies was nominated for 12 Emmy Awards in its first season. Lee Pace, Anna Friel, Chi McBride, Ellen Greene, Swoosie Kurtz and Kristin Chenoweth star in the visually stunning series from Living Dead Guy Productions, The Jinks/Cohen Company, in association with Warner Bros. Television. Tony winner Jim Dale, reader of the Harry Potter series of audio books, is the narrator. In addition to Fuller and Sonnenfeld, Dan Jinks & Bruce Cohen (Academy Award winning producers of American Beauty) and Peter Ocko (Boston Legal) serve as executive producers.

From ABC's Pushing Daisies Site

Go, click the link and watch an episode or two online. Once you do, go here (http://www.savethepiemaker.com/) and sign the petition to save the show, maybe even send ABC a message via the link under #5. This is the third of Bryan Fuller's series that I has completely absorbed me for an hour every week. I would really love to see this one last.

Oh So Payneful

Stacy and I went on a long-deserved date last week. We had both been interested by the trailers for the latest video-game-turned-movie, Max Payne. Full of action and valkyries, it looked exciting. Valkyries, for those of you that don't know, are the mythical warrior-maidens from Norse mythology that escort fallen warriors off to Valhalla after they die in battle. Valhalla is an eternal battle during the day and endless feasting at night, just what any warrior would relish in the afterlife. Valkyries are traditionally depicted as big, bold, tough, blonde Scandanavians wearing armor and bearing swords (no, the fat opera lady is not what I'm talking about.)

Like This, NOT

Like This, and DEFINITELY NOT

Like This.

While the valkyries in the trailer for the movie looked decidedly un-warrior-maidenlike, I was interested enough to see their variation.

It was a mistake.

I'm going to spoil it for you right now, so you don't get suckered like we did. There are no valkyries. It's all just a stupid hallucination brought on by drugs. Knowing that much and the fact that this movie had a hackneyed plot and you can probably figure out exactly what happens in the movie.

No? Well I'm going to spoil it even further for you now. Only, I'm going to give you the facts straight, unlike the convuluted, nonsensical plot in the movie.

Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) is a detective relegated to a desk job in cold case after the brutal murder of his wife and baby. Turns out he was just in time to kill two of the three assailants that invaded his home. He has led a secret life pursuing the last killer. He has few friends, an ex-partner (Donal "I'm Awesome But Keep Playing Stupid Parts Like This" Logue) that gets killed by the shady psuedo-organization behind the death of Max's family and his ex-cop, present-exec-at-a-pharmacuetical-company friend (Beau "Dear Lord What Have I Sunk To" Bridges.)

Wait a sec, one of his friends is an exec at a pharmacuetical company? Why, that's questionable right there! There's more! His wife worked at the company. Is it all coming together yet?

No?

Well, allow me to confuse matters a bit. Every time Max gets close to figuring something out about the murder, people get killed. We're led to believe that it's the valkyries doing the killing. The special effects for the valkyries is pretty cool, but ultimately lame by extension of their explanation. No, turns out it's a crazy ex-marine (Amaury "I Hope No One Watches This" Nalasco) hopped up on the drug that exec-friend is shelling out. Highly addictive and a hallucigen, it also makes the user nigh-invincible. Drawback? The hallucinations are always of the valkyries, and terrifying. I've got a few problems with that. Why would it be a popular street drug (and thus motive for the shady goings on I'm about to illuminate) AND why would the hallucinations always be of the same thing? The answer to the first question is simple, because the writer, director, producer, and everyone involved in the creative process of this movie are stupid. The answer to the second is even simpler. They wouldn't be, drugs and hallucinations don't work that way.

On to the stupid conspiracy that you should already see coming from a mile away. Max's wife was about to blow the whistle on the company. Max's exec-friend decided the only way to silence her was to kill her. He's the missing killer Max has been searching for...for...we don't know how long.

We don't know this because the director has no concept of time. We are led to believe that it's been "a long time," yet the house is still cordoned off with police tape, there is no vandalism, and no squatters. Unlikely alone, however, we get the impression from other conversations that Max hasn't been in cold case for long, as well as in his apartment. I think we can guess that for the director, "a long time," is about a month.

Sooooo, Marky Mark Payne doesn't actually figure this out. He is dense enough that when his exec-friend preposterously shows up in the middle of the retarded fight scene with the ex-marine and shoots him cold dead, he still has to be knocked out and explained the entire plot right before he gets "killed" in the frozen river.

Does he die? Oh, you wish. No, he conveniently has a couple of vials of the wunder drug planted in his pocket by his erstwhile killer. Oh yeah, and a B(%^h of an undead wife that won't let him die in peace. "Not yet," my arse, by the time the retarded creative team lets Max finally die, he's not going to want one thing to do with you. Anyway, hopped up on the macguffin, Max single-handedly wades through corrupt and rent-a-cops at the company to reach the exec-friend. Guess what he does there? You got it, the movie is so predictable, Max talks it out with exec-friend rationally and convinces him to turn himself in to the authorities. Roll credits.

Hah.

He kills him, of course. Big whoop.

One other (did I say one? One in a loooong string of many, maybe) beef I have with the movie was Mila "You-Can-Tell-I'm-Tough-Because-I-Glare-In-All-My-Scenes" Kunis. Her character is introduced as the sister of a soon-to-be-dead hot chick (Olga "Way-Too-Hot-To-Have-A-Major-Role" Kurylenko) that can't keep her hands off of Max. Soon-to-be-dead hot chick, that is, not Mila. Naturally, she's pissed that her sister is dead and blames Max. That soon changes after a lazy plot device and she's suddenly eager to help him. Why? Some lukewarm vengeance for her sister or something. Mila kinda sleepwalks through this film, so it's hard to tell. Mila is a badass, though. You know this because she walks around everywhere with a machine gun. I mean everywhere. I'm sure there is a scene on the cutting room floor of her at the laundromat folding her baby-doll Tees with the gun strapped to her side. The problem is that not only is her motive oddly suspect, but her appearances are as well. Midway through the obligatory one-man assault on the evil corporation, she shows up to bail a hallucinating Max out of the hole he's dug himself. Why? What reason would she have to be there? She doesn't know anything about the company or Max's assault. She had no way of knowing where he would be. "I can hold them off for a while, but if you're going to finish this, you have to get up, blabbity-blah." WHY? Oh yeah, Ludacris, Nelly Furtado, and Chris O'Donnell, because, why not?

And that, my friends, is what this movie left Stacy and I saying at the end. WHY? Why did we pay good money to see this piece O hud? Why did anyone finance this stinker? Why did half the things in the movie even happen? Why didn't we walk out? Why is this post so stinking long?

That's it. I could complain about so many more things about this movie, but I won't. Just don't, whatever you do, see this movie. It's not as bad as Babylon A.D., but it's close, real close. I give this half of a hallucinatory valkyrie out of fifteen hallucinatory valkyries on a scale that I just made up that doesn't mean anything.

To the John Moore, Beau Thorne, and Sam Lake. Next time, more supernatural valkyrie, less hackneyed drug-fueled conspiracy.

ITIL Will Drive You Crazy!

Boy, it's been a while. I'm still around. I just finished ITIL (Information Technology Infrastructure Library) Foundation training today. It was pretty brutal. I'm also enrolled in my final class at University of Phoenix. It's been pretty intense. I was hoping it would be an easy class with how hard the last few have been, but no luck. Almost done, though. After this class, I've got 8 elective credits I have to try to get through work/life experience. Every certification I get is good for that, thus the ITIL Foundation training. I won't know if I passed the test for another few days. I'm just glad the class is over. One of the entertaining things about the class was the instructor. He kept reminding me of a slightly goofy version of Malcolm McDowell. Is it just me, or does Malcolm McDowell look like he would drive you to the brink of madness after a long quiet conversation?

Let me tell you a little something about Information Technology...that will drive you MAD!

Ah, I Love the Smell of Napalm (Hair Dye) in the Morning!

This Thursday Stacy and I finally sat down to truly mark the season, we dyed her hair napalm orange. I'm running out of battery, so I'll post the pics quick.

Check out how much pink is left after a full hour of bleaching. Yeah, we didn't even touch that color.

It made some interesting effects with the roots and tips being blonde, though.

And here it is, napalm orange hair.

We plan on really finishing the job this coming week. I'll be dying vertical stripes of her hair black. Pumpkinhead, anyone?

Code Monkeys Get All the Fun

A friend of mine is a Code Monkey at ThinkGeek. This is what she gets to do in her spare time.


Awesome.

In case you want to be a zombie killer too:
Dismember-Me

The Harper Collins Audiobook Widget

Behold its mighty slickness, the new The Graveyard Book widget! Thanks, Jon!

Welcome to October, er, Three Days Ago

Blurry caption reads: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Semi-Related Side Note Dept.
As you can see by the widget to the right, this month brings us The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. It's a charming all-ages story about a child that grows up in a graveyard a la Mowgli in Kipling's The Jungle Book. If you've read any of Neil Gaiman's stuff and liked it, you shouldn't hesitate to buy it. If you've never read Gaiman's stuff, then start with this one. It's a light and entertaining read.

Tangental Side Note Dept.
It's already been shared elsewhere, but Stacy, Jon, the girls, and I had a great time at the National Book Fair in DC last Saturday. We got to buy The Graveyard Book a few days early, hear Gaiman read an excerpt and answer some questions, and meet him personally to have our books signed. The last time he came to town, Stacy was pregnant with Scarlett and had long purple hair. This time, she's pregnant with our son and has short pink hair. When we got to the front of the line, I mentioned the fact that my wife was pregnant last time he was at the festival and signed our books. His reply was along the lines of, "Good lord, and she's still pregnant!?" He signed my book by drawing a little gravestone with the inscription, "Scott, she's still pregnant?" Neil Gaiman rocks.

Inexplicably Bruised/Broken Rib - or Gall Stones! Yay!

My right bottom rib has been giving me some pain in the last few weeks. I finally went to the doctor today to figure out what's going wrong. He said that if I bruised it, it could take weeks and weeks to heal. Just in case I fractured it, he ordered x-rays, which were surprisingly fast and convenient to take. He says if it doesn't get better over time or gets worse after big meals or eating fatty foods, I could have gall stones. Yay! So here I am, with an inexplicably pained rib area that could be nothing to worry about, a broken bone, or a sharp, pointy stone that wants to pass through my innards.

My bet is on bruised rib. We have been camping a lot lately and I think the constant tossing and turning on the hard ground may have caused me some damage. I'm all for the air mattress that we picked up this week. We're going again on Saturday, so I guess I'll know then.

Wish me luck!

Unrelated Side Note Dept.
Iron Man came out on DVD today. If you remember, I was just a little fond of the movie. If you haven't seen it yet, now is your chance to get it on the small screen.

If Lovin' Spore Is Wrong, I Don' Wanna Be Right

I've been playing a lot of Spore during the late hours of the night. Who needs sleep? Anyway, to see some of my creations, page down to the new widget I installed at the bottom of the page.

Pot Pie Win

Since it turned out so good today, I thought I would post a follow-up to yesterday's fail pic.


Thank you.

Thing You Shouldn't Do #7

Thing You Shouldn't Do #7:
Drive 65 MPH in pouring rain with bald tires.

Why? Because as thrilling as it is, hydroplaning can be hazardous to your health.

I'm not kidding, hundreds die while engaging in this xtreme sport. Thankfully, ever since the formation of the AXHEAD (Assocation of Xtreme Hydroplaners, Equestrians, and Dieters, they're an eclectic bunch,) the sport has become less dangerous. With safety measures such as Nerf guardrails, soft horseshoes, and calorie-free water, AXHEADs have cut annual hydroplaning-equestrian-diet-related fatalities by 5%! So remember, if you're insist on hydroplaning, get an AXHEAD license first!

Pot Pie Fail

I've been visiting the Failblog quite a bit recently. It's good stuff. In the spirit of failure, I'd like to present to you, my lunch.


Thank you.

Birthday Wishes, OR, Oh Crap!

Ah, the joys of a child's birthday party. Well, I enjoyed it, not sure about Stacy. Judging from the photo I took of her at a friend's party at "Pump It Up," she's just about had enough joy for the evening. To be fair, she seemed to have a blast as well. Most of the other parents were entertained by watching the pregnant lady with pink hair goe up and down the slide over and over again with Scarlett. It was definitely good times. Happy Birthday, Kylee!

Yar, Me Mateys!

As many of you know, Friday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I truly enjoy this day of the year, probably a lot more than is healthy. The next day, we were invited to a pirate party for a friend of our daughters. Since his parents, Karen and Paul, are good friends of mine and he asked so nicely, Stacy and I dug out our pirate costumes from Halloween a couple of years ago and came dressed for the occasion. We decided to go all out this year and embellished my beard a bit. This is the final result.


We even gave the girls some pirate braids in their hair. Great fun was had by all. I think I enjoyed the treasure hunt and pin the flag on the pirate map the most. The cake was a crazy affair. They managed to get a full pirate ship, about 24" X 12" that reached probably about 10" at its poop deck (I said poop deck.) Delicious cake, but the real entertainment was watching poor Karen try to cut and serve it. The poop deck (I said it again,) pieces toppled as soon as they were cut, so some of the cake may have had an extra fingerprint or two. I don't think anyone minded.

Anyway, it was a very piratey weekend. I hope everyone had a chance to celebrate in their own way.

Unrelated Side Note Dept.
I finally received a response from my facilitator on the plagiarism accusation. She says, considering my contribution to the class, that she's inclined to believe that I'm not plagiarizing, but needs proof. So now I'm inserting date/time stamps in random places in my code in an attempt to prove innocence. We'll see how it pans out.

Birthday Thanks and Post-Birthday Infuriation

First off, I want to thank everyone for their birthday wishes and gifts. I had a great birthday. It started off nice and easy with a late morning courtesy of Stacy, thank you! We headed to the mall to enjoy a tasty lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with some friends, one of whom shares my birthday, happy birthday, Suzanna! That evening we dined at Not Your Average Joes with some more friends. It was a fantastic day.

The haul was excellent as well. I got a nice new wireless laser mouse for my laptop and cash from Stacy and the girls; a sweet Emma Frost figure from Jon; a bunch of Iron Man comics and an Iron Fist graphic novel, all signed by the writer, Matt Fraction, plus an iTunes gift card from Casey and Jamie; movies from my dad; cash from many other thoughtful gifters; and a lot of well-wishing. Thanks everyone!

Now, for one of the reasons I've been too distracted to blog. I'm in .NET II, a programming course, for school. It's kicking my @$$. Not the programming, I don't mind that at all. It's the facilitator. I have had abrasive facilitators before. I can handle that. They take a bit more work, but it's tolerable. I have never, however, been accused of plagiarism before. This is my second-to-last course to finish my degree. I have had nothing but As and A minuses throughout my courses. To be accused of cheating off other people's work at this point is not only insulting, but ridiculous. Why would I jeopardize my degree at this point, especially with work that I can do in my sleep? It's infuriating. I was furious as soon as I read the comments on my first assignment.

I wrote her an email, perhaps too hastily, but very respectfully. I am still waiting for the response. Just writing about it infuriates me more. I think I'm going to draw this to a close.

At Least It's Better than Battlefield Earth

I recently wrote a review of The Land of the Lost, er, I mean, Journey to the Center of the Earth after going out to see it with my oldest daughter, Vicki, on a daddy-daughter date. What I failed to mention is that I went on another daddy-daughter date with my middle daughter, Zoe, the next day. She decided she'd rather see Star Wars: The Clone Wars than go mini-golfing. I will admit I groaned inwardly at the thought. I had read a few reviews about Lucas's latest offering and really had no desire to shell out for the big screen to see it.

Keep in mind that this movie should not be confused with "Star Wars: Clone Wars," the phenomenal Cartoon Network micro-series produced by Genndy Tartakovsky, creator of the equally awesome "Samurai Jack" and "Dexter's Laboratory." Which is out on DVD, you really should go pick it up. Especially if you plan on seeing THE Clone Wars any time soon. You'll need something to cleanse your palate.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though. Here's your plot summed up: Anakin (Matt Lanter) and Obi-Wan (James Arnold Taylor) are tasked by Yoda (Tom Kane) and Mace (Samuel M-Fing Jackson) to find Jabba the Hutt's (Kevin Michael Richardson) huttnapped son. To add a little needed female flare, Anakin is saddled with a new padawan learner, Ahsoka (Ashley Eckstein) who apparently is really young, whatever. On their mission they face such dastardly villains as Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) and his sith apprentice Ventress (Nika Futterman), though never as spectacularly or thrillingly as in "Clone Wars" (put it in your to do list.)

I don't have a problem with this. Even though it explores the same retreaded story of the reluctant teacher who learns a lesson while the learner learns learning from the learnee, blah, blah, blah. The same old jokes are trotted out to amuse the kiddies. It helps to keep in mind that this show is geared to them. The battle scenes, while not as good as those in "Clone Wars" (seriously, you need to check it out,) are entertaining enough, with plenty of clone (Dee Bradley Baker) on droid carnage.

The movie is watchable up until the subplot/plot twist, wherein Padme (Catherine Taber) and C-3P0 (Anthony Daniels) encounter Jabba's uncle, Zero the Hutt (Corey Burton) back on Coruscant. Zero, in case you haven't read about the furor surrounding the character, is so obviously gay in every stereotypical way Lucas could jam into your eye and ear holes during his scenes. He is painted bright purple with day-glo pink tattoos, a couple of pretty feathers on his head, and a grating southern belle-wannabe gay accent. Oh yes, Zero speaks English just fine, unfortunately. The voice itself is a horrible caricature that makes me wince just thinking about. He gives other gay stereotypes a bad name. It's horrible, just horrible.

Had they left Zero's completely unnecessary presence out of the movie altogether, I would probably rate this movie higher. As it is, I give it four out of twenty-one baby huttlets that are better left unmentioned on a scale I just made up that doesn't mean anything. Oh, I can't wait for this to become a regular series on Cartoon Network, yipee!

And Then There Were Two

We just found out the gender of the baby today. Ima have me a son! Stacy and I are a bit shell-shocked from the news. We both expected it to be another girl. We should have known better, though. Stacy's grandmother, who has never been wrong yet, predicted a boy. Plus, our house is completely geared towards girls, so naturally, the funniest thing the Universe could do would be to give us a boy.

I'm excited, though. I never expected to have a son to pass my line down to. It's going to be great. Now the estrogen will be balanced just a little bit by some testosterone.

Land of the Lost - er - I Mean - Journey to the Center of the Earth - IN 3D!

I took Vicki out on a daddy-daughter date last night. Since the Summer Blockbuster season is waning, we decided to go see a movie that's been in the theaters for a few weeks, Journey to the Center of the Earth IN 3D!

It was brought to us by Eric Brevig, director of - um - an episode or two of Xena (seriously.) He's pretty heavy on the special effects and second unit directing on some past blockbusters, though. I suppose that made him a good choice for directing a 3D action film. The movie is pretty effects-heavy, with lava, floating rocks, glow-in-the-dark hummingbirds, and plenty of the in-your-face pop-outs that 3D productions are required to have by federal mandate.

Journey stars Brendan Fraser (number 1 on my wife's drool list, just thought I'd throw that out there,) as the milquetoast professor, Trevor Anderson, that follows in his dead brother's footsteps to - well - you know - journey to the center of the Earth. Josh Hutcherson plays his nephew, Sean Anderson. He's the usual Hollywood teenage cliche, the troubled youth that just needs a positive influence in his life along with some near-death experiences to become a good man, you know the type. Newcomer Anita Briem plays the female lead, Hannah Asgeirsson, a mountain guide that gets roped (at times, literally,) into helping them - er - you know - journey to the center of the Earth. I'll be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing her in more roles. She's easy on the eyes and ears and plays the Strong Female Character What Can Take Care Of Herself But Still Can Be Soft For The Menfolk really well.

After a bit of set up and characterization, the intrepid journeyers end up - um - you know - at the center of the Earth. Okay, so more than a healthy amount of disbelief is required to enjoy this movie. Less than what you'd need for Babylon A.D., though. Scientifically, we know that it's not possible to have a thriving ecosystem in the crushing pressure of the depths under the Earth's mantle. There's no way dinosaurs, carnivorous flying fish, glowing hummingbirds, man-sized venus fly traps, enormous calcified mushrooms, and everything else in the movie could exist miles below the surface of the Earth, but it's sure fun watching what it would be like if they did.

The movie was rather enjoyable besides a couple of problems I had with some of the conceits, such as how a mild mannered professor becomes able to fight hand-to-hand a 'la Rick O'Connell. Or why Trevor and Hannah eventually hook up, other than the fact that they're the male and female leads of the movie and are thus legally required to make kissy-face somewhere in the movie.

I just hope they can manage to bring this one to video with the 3D intact, unlike Beowulf (you bastids.) Since "3D" is in the title of the movie, I would imagine that it'd be a pretty easy decision. But I imagine a lot of weird things, like that little guy on my shoulder with the funny tail. No, I will not insult their mama and laugh maniacally as I hit the post button! Go away!

I give Journey to the Center of the Earth IN 3D! twenty-three out of thirty floating magnetic rocks on a scale I just made up that doesn't mean anything. I have to admit, I kept hearing Peter Griffin's Land of the Lost recitation floating through my head through the whole movie.